Yeah..feel free to chime in with your own ranting questions. That is why I put this in the Stooges section. I am well aware that in my present state I am on female hormone overload but I would like to ask a question or two to the male population here and see if maybe just maybe I could get an honest, no puffing your chest out, no fake bullshit answer.

Is it just females or do males feel this way too sometimes. Is it possible to love someone so damn much that you would rather slit your wrists, stick your wrists in the toilet, and flush than tell them and risk losing that little bit of control that you feel you have in your life? Is it possible to never get over someone?

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I'm not part of the male population, but yeah...there are some people that no matter how hard you try, part of you never gets over. And you never want to tell them because its too hard to talk to them and if you do talk to them, it makes it even harder to get over them. Like a vicious circle. But, sometimes, it just happens that 'pop!'...you're over them. Our brains work in really strange ways.

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Sorry. You chicks are on your own. I don't know how you do it.

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What's even worse is when you do talk to them and tell them. And what's even worse is when you're the one that they can't get over AND they tell you, constantly. I sure am glad that I don't know anyone whose ever been in that situation or is currently in it. I think the key is to start dating other people and/or start sleeping around. However, the key to that is finding time in between getting up at 5am and busting your ass every day, then coaching water polo for a few hours, and playing in a softball league Friday nights, and squeezing in the rest of your free time trying to get a clothing company off the ground, and finding time to chill with your friends to actually date someone else and/or start sleeping around.

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What you're talking about is obsession. And there is healthy and unhealthy obsession. A healthy obsession would be to have posters of your favorite star on your wall, and love them from a distance. An unhealthy obsession would be a stalker of this star. Anyway, my point is that not being able to get over someone is an unhealthy obsession on how your life was with this person. You thought it made you feel good, and therefore you want it again. Humans constantly strive for happiness in one form or another, and obsessions are a result of this quest. Obsessions are also a form of regularity in your own life, to regulate your feelings of angst, anguish, despair, joy, and happiness. You latch onto something that is or has become intangible, and the quest becomes overriding to other things in your life. You want this person, but it didn't work out or something. You don't understand why it didn't work out, so your feelings for this person never dissipate over time, like many normal feelings do.

The analogy was quite heavy, but men and women alike have these same obsessive feelings everyday. I don't believe telling them would relinquish any control in your life. If things are meant to happen, they happen. I'm not going to say everything happens for a reason, because what is the reason for the events in the world? No, I believe the path is already laid, you just have to walk it.

As long as you talk about your feelings with a sympathetic or empathic party, it is very possible to "get over" someone. However, the change must occur within yourself.

Alright, that's enough bullshit from me.

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DPD- WORD! I don't know anyone that fits that description either. lol Good luck with 55cal honey...I'm pullin for ya.

Lamer- I see your point and I agree with you on a lot of it but I don't think that your example was the best for this subject. This is a real person that I am talking about (not me mind you) and she is in love with a real person that she lived with, shared things with, etc...not just some fantasy on the screen or a movie star from a distance. What I mean by in my present state you know and you also know me well enough to know that when I get like this my sympathy fades a bit. lol Especially when all she does is sit there and cry and whine about it. She asked me for my advice and I gave it...she has asked several people for their advice and they have given it. That is something that quite frankly I wouldn't want to do not only because I don't want everyone and their dog knowing my personal business but also because you get a lot of different opinion and if you are weak enough to not be able to make up your own mind as you should then it only confuses you further.

My advice to her was that she must first understand what the meaning of the word love is and if she TRUELY believes that this is what she has felt and is feeling then she must then understand that loving someone is alright but it does take two people to feel the same way in order for the desired outcome of being together to happen. If this guy didn't even know what love truely meant then maybe he wasn't capable of giving her what she needed or wanted in the first place. She could have unfortunately been nothing more than a fling or a steady piece of ass to him. She was never completely secure with him and they lived together ffs. Not trusting the one you are sharing your space and your bed with isn't very healthy in my opinion and not truely love. You must feel secure and confident with your partner, trust them as much as you can trust anyone, be open and honest with them, and feel that all I have mentioned has been recipricated back. If the "love" is one sided..chances are that it isn't love. People get lonely, bored, etc. and sometimes confuse all those emotions with love and it just isn't.

What really made me turn the sympathy off more than just my female hormones was the fact that even after all the advice, tears, etc. she still chooses to do nothing about it other than constantly whine. If I knew for a fact that the guy I was living with didn't feel the same way about me that I felt about him...I would not want him to stay. I don't want someone that doesn't want me...point blank. What is the point? If you just don't want to be alone then ok..but be honest about it with yourself and with your partner and say that...hey I am not in love with you but I don't want to be alone either and we are great friends so lets be roomates and fuck buddies. If you get no then you are no worse off than you were before and you can move on and find another one. That kind of relationship if you want to call it one at all is very easy to find. But if you want a real relationship...they take work and feeling on both parts.

My second question was...is it possible to never get over someone? The answer to this question in my opinion is yes it is possible. If you have ever felt true and real love in your lifetime then you would know this. It is possible to move on from your love if for whatever reason it doesn't work out but you can still have love for this person that will never go away. It may just mean that you were not meant to be together at that point in time or it could mean that both of you had some serious issues that you needed to work out on your own before you could be together, or it could just mean that no matter how much you loved eachother you just couldn't make it work for reasons of your own. It doesn't mean that you didn't or don't love that person and quite possibly very much but love doesn't always work the way we want it to and it can leave some pretty nasty scars. It is these scars that can prevent you sometimes from letting in the next person that comes along and is bold enough to want a relationship with you.

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Hey hey, my bullshit didn't just say some fantasy. I said obsession can be with someone you had previous relations with but cannot healthily let go of them. Read it, I said it. My example were just throwing out the word obsession so everyone could gather of what I was speaking.

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Don't get your tits in a bunch Nancy boy...all I said was that the example wasn't in MY opinion fitting...I didn't say anything else that you posted. Actually I said I agree with you and then added more of my opinion and thoughts....jeez.

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I have no experience in the battlefield of love, so all I'll say is, if I reach that point in my life when I have to let go of the supposed girl of my life, I hope to have the strength to actually do it.

Redundant post over, carry on.

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I'm pretty much unexperienced in the battlefield of other people in general, but I know that different people take the same blows differently. I've been frustrated with the roundabout and indirect attitude of people towards their problems and problems in general, but still I don't there's anything a person can do to deserve pain besides what's immoral.

As long as you have it in you, I'd advise to support her, or at least not to get angry at her for not dealing properly. I'm a complete outsider to this situation, but it sounds to me that this anger is the result of frustration which comes from you caring about this person and wanting her to succeed. Help her if you can.

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