We always hear "the rules" From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. Please note.. these! are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends ar e for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a serious problem . See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We hav e no idea what mauve is. !

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really .

1 Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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Amen, I say.

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You owe me a new fucking keyboard Helios. I just spit Starbucks frappuccino all over it laughing at this shit. Too funny and in all honesty I really can't argue with a single one of them. We do them all but I will when I have a bit more time add some little gems of my own for the women. That is if someone (Eon and Splint) don't beat me to it first. lol

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Best I could come up with at short notice...


Rules for Women
1. Never do housework. No man ever made love to a woman because the house was spotless.
2. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
3. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.
4. So many men - so many reasons not to sleep with any of them.
5. If they put a man on the moon, they should be able to put the mall there.
6. Tell him you're not his type - you have a pulse.
7. Never let your man's mind wander. It's too little to be let out alone.
8. The only reason men are on this planet is that vibrators can't dance or buy drinks.
9. Never sleep with a man who's named his penis.
10. Go for younger men. You might as well. They never mature anyway.
11. A man who can dress himself without looking like Forrest Gump is unquestionably gay.
12. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
13. Women don't make fools of men. Most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
14. The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it.
15. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
16. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
17. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
18. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
19. A man's idea of serious commitment is usually "Oh all right, I'll stay the night."

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Mind if I add a few Helios?

1. Sometimes we're not thinking about you. Live with it.
2. No, we don't know what day it is. Mark Birthdays & Anniversaries on the calendar.
3. Don't rub that lamp, if you don't want the genie. (My favorite)

I'll EDIT when I come up with a couple more.

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I've got to admit, the guys list is the truth but you are forgetting one crutial element...Where is the part about food, thats one of a mans three basic needs.

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Ah good look, gonna have to update it with some about food.

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Oi splint... was there a part of "The Guys List" that you failed to understand.

Ok that was only said cos this is the Blitzkrieg.

Otherwise, some funny shit right there.

*EDIT* OK SB said she would first, but still.

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^ That was a really crappy attempt at trying to tell me that I suck. Back to the sandpit, boy.

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Lol true, but your response was also just saying I suck, yet appearing more high and mighty than me. Yes, i just wanna see how vicious you can flame me lol.

I actually thought what you said was quite funny, but in the guys list, not really appropriate content...is it? ;)

Is anyone ever gonna make anymore of these, cos if i was to they would be lame, so someone better do some

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Want the A to Z list for all things manly? Try Maddox's - The Aphabet of Manliness

I read it twice in the car (once coming, once going), on my vacation. Holy shit! I didn't think anything could own so much aside from myself, and hot damn, I was almost wrong.

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