A lion, bear & a chicken were in a argument about who is the most powerfull.
The lions says that when he roars the whole jungle shits them self,
The bear says that when he roars the whole forest shits them self,
The chicken says that when he sneezes the who world shits them selfs.
The lion & bear laugh.
the chicken sneezes and all the people shit them self and run away.

The joke is that the people are afraid that the chicken has bird-flu.



scientists crosed a onion with a male chicken.
They made the first cock to make a women cry.

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j) Where does Spider-Man get his infomation from?

a) The web

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hmm....let's see if anyone understands this one...

Two men are talking about money.
Guy 1: Can you lend me $5?
Guy 2: You already owe me $5, smart-one.
Guy 1: But I'm a comedian, and I have to pay my writer!
Guy 2: You pay him by the line?
Guy 1: No, I pay him by the laugh.
Guy 2: ....................Well, then he owes you money!

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A female deer comes out from behind a bush wiping cum from her lips and says, "Sheesh...that's the last time I do that for two bucks."

What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
- You take your boots off before you jump on a trampoline.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Lamborghini?
- I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

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I know I shouldn't laugh at dead baby jokes, but I always do....

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Jesus and Saint Peter are golfing. St. Peter steps up to the tee on a par three and hits one long and straight. It reaches the green. Jesus is up next. He slices it. It heads over the fence into traffic on an adjacent street. Bounces off a truck, onto the roof of a nearby shack and into the rain gutter, down the drain spout and onto a lilly pad at the edge of a lake. A frog jumps up and snatches the ball in his mouth. An eagle swoops down, grabs the frog. As the eagle flies over the green, the frog croaks and drops the ball. It’s in the hole. Saint Peter looks at Jesus, exasperated. "Are you gonna play golf?" he asks "Or are you just gonna fuck around?"

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A man hitched a ride on a ship because he wanted to see the world, unfortunately the ship ran into an awful storm and got torn apart. The man saw a sheep and grabbed onto it, hoping it would find shore. As luck would have it, the sheep swam all the way to an island. After a few months the man and sheep became pretty close. They had built shelter together, eaten together, exploered together. The man was getting kind of horny. He came up to the sheep and tried to have at it, but the sheep just kicked him in the balls and ran away. The next day the sheep came back. Once a week (his balls had to heal every time) for 6 months he tried to screw the sheep, and each time the sheep kicked him and ran away. One day, as the man was building a fire, a gorgeous woman walked gracefully toward the man. She said "My name is Oombaway, and I will do anything you wish." The man looked her up and down and said "will you hold the sheep?"

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