Matrix Code - I have an announcement to make

Im about to go out pretty soon for a night out on the town, but befoe I go there's something I need to tell you all my beloved friends of MM.

The announcement, while a little iffy, you know, kinda hazy at parts, is the clearest most distinguished cacophony of words you'll ever have the misfortune of attempting to comprehend.

Now, befopre I continue, I want you to know, that im a little pressed, so in order to cut down on time, from here on, i will not back track to correct any typos whatsoever.

Before i adress the announcement I have a few other things id like to take care of first.

NOW, first of all, if, I were to...say, I dont know, order a dozen shredded up pieces of paper that, when cohered together in the correct manner, would spell out the words "FDA approved dolphin safe tuna fish sandwhich", would you think any less of me?
Or, to be more blunt, if I were to send you naked pictures of me playing pool with my neighbors wife, would you be mildy offended or joyously suprised?

Take your time, think about that oen for a moment, think about how it made you feel. When youre ready... move on to the next segment.

Ready? Good, me too. So lets begin. First thing first, take off those clothes. If youre already naked, put some on, we cant have you ctahcing a cold out here now can we? But listen. But listen. Before I start up, ill have all of you know that I dont and wont take any shit from anyone concerning my weight. I know. Im a little fat, but its mainly from all the water retention. Gives me that bloated look. But dont think any less of me for it because ill punch all of you right in the mouth before you even know that you been kicked in the groin. Square in the nose, that is. I wouldnt hesitate to do it either, because i was a green beret back in nam, had to fight off the charlies all by myself. I single handedly won that war with my bare hands and barrel a toothpicks.

But it isnt about me wining back soviet russia, or you running around in your skinnies, its about those little frightened boys, cold and alone, in their underwear, not sure of their sexuality, or even of your sexuality. They need guidance. and i think im the one to deliver. Because after all guys, when you ask... who delivers?

It sure as hell aint that sack of crap good for nothin clinton. What did he ever do for this country? Nothin! Nothing but trouble he was alright! Alwatys holding other peopels babies like they was his own.
Well i'll have you know i wont stand for it another minute! Qhy... im not gonna have my country run by some two bit, low life, white trailer trash lookin bag a' raw cat litter, So I say, we put a stop this madness at once! Who's with me?

I can only accept two poeple. so we'll pick straws from a hat. Or hats from a straw. Whichever you'd like. But it needs to be one male and one female.
And one female and one more female. And thats it. No more can fit in the van. Sorry. but i have to be honest with you. If it were up to me i would let you run around wtih your britches on your heads and gloves on your feet all you want. Hell! I'd join you if iI was but 10 years younger!

But I cant just allow anything. Those crazy hippies would run amock of this here city and we cant have that. How would the woman and children get by? On lima beans and curry?! ha! Unlikely my dear watson! Unlikely indeed!

Now I know what your thinking, this thread doesnt make any sense helios, im not reading this, what is this, whats wrong with you, why do you do these things helios, how come youre so crazy like, dont you have a brain to think with, why cant we go back to the way things were when you sing me softly to sleep.

Well im sorry NMN, but i cant stop it. I wont STOP you from trying to build a flying bike, but i wont support it, and i wont fund it. If it were up to me, id let you do it, i really would. But its the hollywood bigwigs and i wont sell my soul to the devil for a stack a' money as high as you can see just YET!

I havent become that cynical just yet, life still has some meaning.

For example, the other day I was walking by this pond and I thought, hey, a pond, a perfect place for me to enjoy my fresh watermelon. Then i realized it was a thames and there was a whale in it and immediatrely i ran as far away from it as I could.

Whales dont belong in the thames, certainly not in england all together, heavens no, far too cold down there for a whale,but the thames river! Thats ridiculous, absolutely out of the question.

SO I ran to my motorcycle shop to get a wrench, it needed rescuing and it needed it now. It didnt have enough room to swim. just to go forward a few feet, and tthen back up a few feet more. I dont even understand how it got in there in the first place but certainly it could survive long.

Fast forwarding 3 days

Im walking from medaerla, and theres this guy and hes oranges. He's oranges! Down by the nile, we had tea together under a cherry tree.
Let me tell you something about cherry trees. There alot different down south then they are up west by you fellas. What with your toxic nuclear chemcials in the air. All we got is cod liver and spinach dip. But you.. you city clickers dont know whats its like to have a REAL cherry. you wouldnt know a fucking cherry if it bit you in the ass and called you sally!

Screw you Hollywood! Dony like my acting, kiss my ass! I dont need you to get places! I'll get places with my own tewo feet,
and if you think for even A SECOND that im about to throw in the towel because of some minor skirmish with the law, well youre just absolutley, AB-SO-LOOT-LEE wrong!

You couldnt be more wrong than you are. Thats how wrong you are hollywood. So screw you. Fuck it. I dont need you to survive. I can do just fine on sun dried olives, v8 splash and my flask thats always half filled with ale.

My apartment is up north.

As an ending note, id like to say that I love you all to the very farthest extent that the internet will provide, and for those of you who dobt know me, heres a little background info on me:

32 YO MALE HERE LOOKIN TO CHAT W/HOT YOUNG LADIES IF YOUR LOOKIN FOR A GOOD TIME TYPE 696969