When Morpheus is going to talk to Locke.

"I've spoken to the other captains and I wanted to offer you the chance to explain WTF YOU WERE DOING???????"
"I wasn't aware that my actions required any explanation."
"Well, I'm a bumbling jerk-face so you have to tell me."
"I wasn't aware that my actions required any explanation."
"Tell me!!"
"I wasn't aware that my actions required any explanation."
"Morpheus!!!!"
"I wasn't aware---"
"Are you aware that you've said that a gazilion times?"
"I wasn't aware---"
"I hate you."
Morpheus starts to cry.
"Don't be a crybaby!" Locke shouts sternly. "You were given a direct order to return to Zion!"
"I did!"
"But you asked for one ship to stay behind."
"I needed to get some candy!"
"You want candy?"
Morpheus nods. "Iiiiiiii want candy!"
"I don't wanna hear that shit!"
"It's not bull! It's candy!"
Locke looks at Morpheus weirdly. "What? No, you---I---what---okay, that's just stupid."
"It is not!!" Morpheus shouts. "Your mama's so fat when she jumped in the air, she stuck!"
"HEY!!" Locke shouts, standing up. "Nobody insults my mommy like that! And I don't care about tootsie rolls, or red vines, or creme savers, I care about one thing!"
"What's that???"
"I DON'T KNOW!!"
"Why???"
"Because the darn script fell off my desk!!"
"Ha-ha!! Locke can't memorize his lines!!!!!"
"Shut up! Shut up!!
"My beliefs do not require me to!!"
"Candy sucks!!!"
Morpheus gasps. "No one will panic, because there is nothing to fear."
"Gaaaaaah!!!"

Free Your Minds.

-neoizcool

That is so looool. Funny stuff.

"Have you ever stood and stared at it?"
Morpheus is quiet.
Smith turns to look at him. "I asked you....a ......question...."
Morpheus looks up.
"I am waiting for......an answer...."
"I....I.....can't....."
"The fact.....that...you can't talk......is no excuse....not to answer......um.....me."
"Yes....it is."
"No matter.....," Smith says, turning to look out the window again. "I marvel at its beauty and genius. Did you know that the first Matrix was designed to be a perfect human world."
Johnson turns to look at Smith. "Then what in the hell happened?"
Smith glowers at him. "Your mama was born."
The other agent says, "Hohooooooo!!! You just got served!!!"
Johnson glares at Smith. "My mama isn't as fat as.......your pop!!"
"Oooooooooooo," the other agent says.
"What did you call my pop?" Smith says.
"I called him, I called, he, HE SUCKS!!"
Silence from the other agent.
"It was disaster," Smith grumbles. "No one could accept the program...entire crops were lost."
"What happened to them?" the other agent says.
"Oh, you know," Smith says, shrugging, "those gosh darn crop circles."
"You know that's a hoax, right," Morpheus says.
"Hey!" Johnson says, slapping Morpheus on the back of the head. "You're not supposed to be able to talk!!!!"
"Sorry," Morpheus said.
"They're not......hoaxes....," Smith says.
"That's a load of crap!" Johnson screams. "They're just people pushing over plants!"
"It's happening," Mel Gibson says.
Smith looks at him. "Get out of here."
M. Night Shyamalan jumps into the room, "Watch the Village!!!!"
Smith shakes his head. "Talk about shameless product placement."
Night and Mel sulkily stomp out of the room.
Smith shakes his head. "Some believed that....we lacked the programming language necessary to speak with Aborigines, but I believe that, as a species, human beings define their reality through misery and suffering, which is why the Matrix was redesigned to include Bill and Ted's Bogus Journey."
"What about Excellent Adventure?" Johnson asks curiously.
"No amount of planning could have averted that disaster," Smith shakes his head sadly."Now I say bogus journey, because as soon as we started thinking for you, it really became.....an excellent journey...which is, of course, what the f am I talking about."
"The Matrix," Johnson says.
Lighting flashes outside the window.
"Hey, Larry, cut it out!!" Smith shouts.
Larry Wachowski steps out from the back. "Sorry, Mr. Weaving."
Smith shakes his head."The brothers. Oie."
"In short, Morpheus, look out that window," Smith says.
Morpheus looks up, and Neo is out in the helicopter with the gun pointed.
"No!!" Smith shouts.
Neo looks confused. "I'm hungry. Where's that shrimp?"

Free Your Minds.

-neoizcool

shrimp is good

Lol. NIC you make the greatest jokes ever. Man my sides are like killing the hell out of me. Great job once again. Especially with the shrimp parts. And please give us more of these great stories. Because they are lots of fun as well as wonderful to read. Great job once again.

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Here we go again.

"I don't understand. Once the One reaches the Source, the war should be over."
"GOSH! Flippin' idiot! In freakin' twenty-fours it will be!"
"What did you just say?"
"What the flip were you listening to the first time? I'm not gonna repeat it!"
"Do it!"
"No!"
"Do it or go to your room!"
"I don't wanna!!"
"You'll do what your mother tells you!"
Silence. Everyone looks at Morpheus, their jaws hanging open.
Morpheus looks at the floor. "I, uh. I, don't, just shut up! SHUT UP!"
He stomps out of the room.
Neo looks at Trin. "Want some banana bread?"
Trinity nods."Yes, Neo. In fact, that does sound like a very good idea. Lol. Banana bread is good for you as well as milk. I feel like getting some milk. How about you, friend? And then I shall go to bed for it has been a tiring day and I am very tired. But that is c-o-o-l that you want some, friend. I just do not feel in the mood at this moment right now for eating."
Neo blinks.
"What?"
Link stands up. "I want some banana bread."
Neo nods. "Good. That's fine. Take my hand. We'll stand under the gland and walk through strange lands."
Link giggles. "You just made a rhyme."
"I know. Now shut up."
"I like shrimp."

Wow, banana bread! I like to try some, hope it taste nice...LMAO

Lol. I wonder why I didn't see these replies today? (scrathes head in amusement) Oh well. Lol. You can't win them all now can you. And by the by me friend. Great posting it made me have the giggles.;) I love that banana bread part as well as the mommy part.

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Andale, andale!

"Still can't sleep?"
"They're just dreams."
"What?"
"I said they're dreams."
"What are you dreaming about?"
Neo looks up. "Nothing, I---"
"I was talking about your little problem, but what's this crap about dreams?"
"I told you; it's not a problem, it's just temporary!"
"That's what you said the last three nights! And what dreams?"
"Nothing!"
Trinity looks at him angrily. "It's the woman in the red dress isn't it?"
"No, I---"
"I knew it! That bitch! You think she's so hot, boy, i tell you---"
Neo mumbles, "She is pretty hot...."
"What did you say????" Trinity demands.
Neo looks up. "Nothing! I, just, nothing!"
"Are you afraid of something, Neo?"
"I just wish I knew what I was supposed to do!"
"You better hope she doesn't call, 'cuz if she does, you're a dead man!"
Suddenly Link walks in. He looks at Neo.
Neo looks up. "Are we ready to go?"
Link nods. "We're already late."
"Where are you two off to?" Trinity demands.
Neo gets up. "Nowhere special."
"You're off clubbing again, aren't you!" Trinity screams. "Oh my gosh! Why can't you take me?"
"It's a guy thing," Link says, shrugging.
"You guys aren't---"
Neo and Link both get nervous and say, "Bye, Trin!" then leave.
Trinity is left alone. She mutters staring at the coffee table, "Bitch."

When the mailman brings Neo his package from Morpheus, in M1.
"Thomas Anderson?"
"Present."
"Here, I need you to sign this attendance sheet."
"Okay, hehheh, look at me, I'm writing, yay, heehee."
"Good job." The mailman walks off.
Neo sighs. "I love school."
The mailman comes back, "Uh, sir, you didn't sign it right."
Neo looks up. "What? What are you? Oh, I see. Hehheh. Misspelled my name."
Alarms sound. Agents pour into his cubicle. "Mr. Anderson, you'll have to come with us."
"What, hey, no!"
"Misspelling a word is a grievous offense."
"No fair! I want my mommy!"
A shrimp walks by. "Quit whining, you ba---"
Smith kicks it out of the way. "I hate those things."
Neo stares at him. "You'd have to hate your mother too, then."
Everyone stops. Smith turns to look at him. "You did not just insult my mommy."
Neo stands there defiantly. "So what if I did?"
Johnson holds his breath. "He is so dead."
The other Agent looks at him. "Ten bucks says Neo can take him."
Suddenly Morpheus comes on scene and grabs Neo then starts to walk away.
"Heeeey. What aaare you doing?" Smith shouts.
"Taking him! We don't have much screen time left in this two hour movie! You took it all with your bantering!"
Smith looks at the ground. "Phooey."
Neo looks at Morpheus. "Got any shrimp?"

OMFG, LMFAO! That was hillarious!

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