Valasher
She wasn't feeling right. Maybe it was the flu, maybe not. She had asked the women at work if they were sick... yes, were they throwing up... no. "Maybe you're pregnant", said Barb.
"Pregnant? God no, I can't be pregnant. I'm just sick. Well... bye," she smiled warmly and walked back to her cubicle. She sat down and decided to get a pregnancy test kit at lunch. Yes, that is what she would do, indeed.
Sitting on the toilet in her modest one bedroom apartment, she set the used test on the counter. She had taken pregnancy tests before and waited exactly like this. It was always such a long five minutes. But this time something was different, both the blue lines appeared almost instantly. Thought rushing through her head, "Is something wrong with the test? Why is it doing that? Will it still look like that in five minutes?" She was fighting to keep her mind focused elsewhere.. where else is there? I'm pregnant. She began to cry. This was the moment her life had been moving toward, always wanting children to teach and to finally have a purpose in life that is inescapable. The weight of it literally crushing her. The tears came forth and she was powerless to stop them. She rocked and cried on that toilet seat for a few minutes, and then she was off. Back to work.
"Oh my god, it hurts so bad! Do they expect me to go to work like this? Why won't they put me on bedrest? The doctor said it was sciatica. I'm so heavy that a nerve in my back is literally being pinched, and I can't believe that it would hurt this bad and they won't do anything about it," She said to her husband.
"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" he replied.
"Nothing, I just needed to say it."
She climbed into bed just as before. She missed being able to breath deep breaths, and to bend over, and to lay normally in bed. 60 more pounds was really taking it's toll on her physically. She sat up to try and get comfortable when it happened.
"Uh oh, I think my water is breaking!"
"No it's not, go back to bed."
"YES it is. We have to go to the hospital."
"NO we don't, just go to bed."
"Well I at least have to call the hospital..."
"No, because they will just make you come down there, and we don't have time for that."
"Honey, I know you are tired and so am I, but this baby is really coming. Once the water breaks, it will be out within 24 hours, or I will be in serious trouble."
Silence loomed in the hospital room. She was having a boy, so why would they put her in one of the "pink" rooms? But that was soon not a concern. The pain was deepening. Coming in waves, each more violent than the last. It was overwhelming and not tolerable.
"Please go get the nurse."
"The nurse is busy, stop bothering her."
"It's her damn job! She said she would check me in fifteen minutes and it's been twenty. Tell her to check me so she can give me the drugs."
The silence was too much for her. Every once in a while a moan would find it's way out of her mouth, but the air was mainly dead. It was getting to the point that she started to contemplate suicide. If I could just find something to knock myself in the head with, I'll be home free... the thought lingered in her mind. With every spasm of pain, with every plunge of the knife in her back. And then the man with the epidural arrived and put the needle into her back. It was painless compared to the misery she was facing. And suddenly, nothing. Sleep came...
She woke up for the pushing, and that was the best part. It felt so good to let this creature out of her cave. And he came out, crying in the most beautiful ringing cascade of sound she had ever heard. But what would she do with a baby?
Visitors came and went from her home, but more in the first week, than the second. And slowly all visitors stopped coming. She was alone, and time was on her side. She could finally bond with the new baby she had brought home. These are the best moments of life, there will never be another time like this, she thought. And so her new life began where the old one ceased to exist.
She needed a shower. She put her son in his basinet and left the bathroom door open. Stepping into the warm water felt like a peice of heaven. She could take a shower all day if it was feasable. But she heard a noise outside of the shower. She knew her son was awake again, and so she quickly finished and opened the drape. As she opened it, she saw the cat dart out of the bathroom, or at least, she thought it was the cat. But our cat isn't orange, it's grey and white. Oh well, sometimes we see the wrong colors out of the corner of our eyes...
I have to take the bottles out of the dishwasher now. She looked over at the baby to make sure everything was well, and noticed some movement. She went over to him and saw that his mobile was spinning, why was his mobile spinning? Two week old babies can't reach that far. She reached out and touched one of the padded bunnies on the mobile and it stopped instantly. How strange...
"Oh ****!" Her one month old son was sitting up. She specifically remembered reading that babies do not sit up until four months at the least. His sitting up in the basinet had scared her. Is his neck caught on something?! She ran to him, but could find nothing wrong...
She locked herself in the bathroom. Nothing makes sense, nothing... she kept telling herself. She was in the deepest form of denial. A denial that was overwhelming her mothering instincts to protect her child. She was in desperate need to protect herself from her child. She heard a bang and the door flew open, it was her son. This is so wrong, oh my god...
If you like it, I will go on with the story.
"Pregnant? God no, I can't be pregnant. I'm just sick. Well... bye," she smiled warmly and walked back to her cubicle. She sat down and decided to get a pregnancy test kit at lunch. Yes, that is what she would do, indeed.
Sitting on the toilet in her modest one bedroom apartment, she set the used test on the counter. She had taken pregnancy tests before and waited exactly like this. It was always such a long five minutes. But this time something was different, both the blue lines appeared almost instantly. Thought rushing through her head, "Is something wrong with the test? Why is it doing that? Will it still look like that in five minutes?" She was fighting to keep her mind focused elsewhere.. where else is there? I'm pregnant. She began to cry. This was the moment her life had been moving toward, always wanting children to teach and to finally have a purpose in life that is inescapable. The weight of it literally crushing her. The tears came forth and she was powerless to stop them. She rocked and cried on that toilet seat for a few minutes, and then she was off. Back to work.
"Oh my god, it hurts so bad! Do they expect me to go to work like this? Why won't they put me on bedrest? The doctor said it was sciatica. I'm so heavy that a nerve in my back is literally being pinched, and I can't believe that it would hurt this bad and they won't do anything about it," She said to her husband.
"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" he replied.
"Nothing, I just needed to say it."
She climbed into bed just as before. She missed being able to breath deep breaths, and to bend over, and to lay normally in bed. 60 more pounds was really taking it's toll on her physically. She sat up to try and get comfortable when it happened.
"Uh oh, I think my water is breaking!"
"No it's not, go back to bed."
"YES it is. We have to go to the hospital."
"NO we don't, just go to bed."
"Well I at least have to call the hospital..."
"No, because they will just make you come down there, and we don't have time for that."
"Honey, I know you are tired and so am I, but this baby is really coming. Once the water breaks, it will be out within 24 hours, or I will be in serious trouble."
Silence loomed in the hospital room. She was having a boy, so why would they put her in one of the "pink" rooms? But that was soon not a concern. The pain was deepening. Coming in waves, each more violent than the last. It was overwhelming and not tolerable.
"Please go get the nurse."
"The nurse is busy, stop bothering her."
"It's her damn job! She said she would check me in fifteen minutes and it's been twenty. Tell her to check me so she can give me the drugs."
The silence was too much for her. Every once in a while a moan would find it's way out of her mouth, but the air was mainly dead. It was getting to the point that she started to contemplate suicide. If I could just find something to knock myself in the head with, I'll be home free... the thought lingered in her mind. With every spasm of pain, with every plunge of the knife in her back. And then the man with the epidural arrived and put the needle into her back. It was painless compared to the misery she was facing. And suddenly, nothing. Sleep came...
She woke up for the pushing, and that was the best part. It felt so good to let this creature out of her cave. And he came out, crying in the most beautiful ringing cascade of sound she had ever heard. But what would she do with a baby?
Visitors came and went from her home, but more in the first week, than the second. And slowly all visitors stopped coming. She was alone, and time was on her side. She could finally bond with the new baby she had brought home. These are the best moments of life, there will never be another time like this, she thought. And so her new life began where the old one ceased to exist.
She needed a shower. She put her son in his basinet and left the bathroom door open. Stepping into the warm water felt like a peice of heaven. She could take a shower all day if it was feasable. But she heard a noise outside of the shower. She knew her son was awake again, and so she quickly finished and opened the drape. As she opened it, she saw the cat dart out of the bathroom, or at least, she thought it was the cat. But our cat isn't orange, it's grey and white. Oh well, sometimes we see the wrong colors out of the corner of our eyes...
I have to take the bottles out of the dishwasher now. She looked over at the baby to make sure everything was well, and noticed some movement. She went over to him and saw that his mobile was spinning, why was his mobile spinning? Two week old babies can't reach that far. She reached out and touched one of the padded bunnies on the mobile and it stopped instantly. How strange...
"Oh ****!" Her one month old son was sitting up. She specifically remembered reading that babies do not sit up until four months at the least. His sitting up in the basinet had scared her. Is his neck caught on something?! She ran to him, but could find nothing wrong...
She locked herself in the bathroom. Nothing makes sense, nothing... she kept telling herself. She was in the deepest form of denial. A denial that was overwhelming her mothering instincts to protect her child. She was in desperate need to protect herself from her child. She heard a bang and the door flew open, it was her son. This is so wrong, oh my god...
If you like it, I will go on with the story.