Stories

Hey I know there have to be some bright people out there whom write stories. I know I do but am afraid to show people I know really well for fear they will sthink i am stupid... So iknow you are all nice and truthful.. maybe you could read my stuff and post a cridict about it... and you can also post a story if you want to also... just try and keep it one chapter a post. Mine is the next post down.

It was the very lst day of summer, I had just gotten my report card and I was not to happy. I had gotten a C+ in History. Even though I lothed that class I normally did beter than that but then again it did not help that it was the last class of the day either. I was very happy to see that I had woke up on my own at 11:45 am. Ha, It was almost lunch and the sun was already almost half-way down. WOOO-HOOO. I got up and removed my sheathed dagger from under my pillow and placed it in the hand carved cherry wood bed-side table that I had gotten for my 16th Birthday. The dagger went next to the nine inch knife, givin to me by my boy friend,below the Bretta nine millimeter and two extra clips, this one I bought myself, and above the set of six throwing stars, I "found" those. I shut the drawer and hooked the lock in place. No, I am not crazy just kind of concerned for my wellfare after I was almosted raped and I did not know how to stop it, Thank God someone heard my screams. I walked in to my walking closet and took a pair of black pants, matching black tanktop with built in support, my black lace/buckle up combat boots and black ankle lenght trench coat. Okmaybe I am just kind of odd but not too much. After a nice hot shower I changed in to my clothes andwent down stairs with just my pocket knife in my pocket. When I had gotten down stairs no one was home.. well no one but our dog, Lucky whom we saved from the pound. I walked around the house aimlessly... so much to do.. so much to do and all I have done before. Just when I had decided to beat the Sherlock Holmes PS2 game for the 7th time the phone rang. Jumping over the overstuffed couch and darting into the Kitchen, I picked up.
" Hello.. Fireice Home. Godden speaking?" I said as normal, request perMom.
" Well. Well..." The voice on the other end said with annoying tone. I knew it was Gunther... Gunther McMillen. The only man whom pissed me off more than anything else in theworld. " Finaly decided to wake up, Icefire."
" Gunther, How nice to hear your ohh so sour voice first thing in the morning. And the name is Fireice. Now befor I hang up you have 2 minets to tell me what you want or is it bye bye."
"Ohh well then. I just found a rather nice blade in which has very interesting text on it that no one at my fathers lab can read and I know how youare for strange languages."His father was the lead laboratory tech for the top Laboratory for all of California. He could call anyone from anywhere he wanted and have them rad the text.. why was he having his SON call me? I am sure, I am not the only one who can read and write twelve different laguages that no one uses anymore. Right? "Godden?? Godden?? I need an answer. Now!"
" What do I get out of it?"
"Well you can get one of two things. One you can get recognition for your work or my father can buy you a new blade or gun if you would like for payment."
"Very well then. I will do it. Where do I need to be and when? And dont tell me your house at mid-night." He laughed.
" Ohh dont worrie just be reay to leave your house at around...thirteen hundred hours. There will be a car to pick you up. I will be escorting you." He said that last part with pride and as if he wanted to be around me...ewww.
"As you wish. Now do I have to be all gussied up for this event or do can I civy cloths?"
" Try and gussy yourself up a bit. You are meeting my father and the top of every feild for the United States Of America."
" Alright.. Have it your way. Thirteen hundred hours. Gussy. Bye" I hung up before he could say anything. This is gonna be a fun summer I can tell. I put the phone back on the charger and look at the time desplaied on the mic. It was 12:38, I had to get a move on it. I ran up stairs, looked at my vast closet space of different colored wearable clothing. After a scavenger hunt, I had collected a pair of matching 2 inch high heeled shoes, nylons, aknee-length black skirt and a deep royal blue blouse. I put them on with care and added my dagger to the small of my back and two throwing stars. I was ready and had 5 mins to spare. Ohh yeah make-up. A little blush, some lip stuff and black eye liner. I went into my mothers full length mirror and did a twirl, This is as good as it is gonna get. *Ding, Dong* I looked at my clock, 12:03, "Ha, he is late!"
I slowly made my way down the stairs and to the door. When I opened the door, there was a man standing there about my height, 5'9", musculer, jet black hair that can only be natural, wearing a nice three-piece suit and shades.
" Hello.. Sir. How may I help you?" I asked. The man looked at me and said nothing. Great a mexican stand off. Then slowly a smile crept acrost his face.
" You do not know who I am do you?"the man asked.
" No, Sir, I am afraid that I do not know who you are? Am I suppost to ? If I am then I am very sorry that I do not recognize you at this time." The man steped forward and took off the shades and looked at me with soft eyes of crystal blue. I knew those eyes but the rest of him did not fit. He must of relized this because he laughed and gave me a true smile. A smile that showed his perfict teeth and the dimpel on his left cheek and glittered in his eyes. I smiled a huge smile and gave him a even bigger hug.
" Grant. Oh my word, Grant. Its you!" He picked me up and gave him a hug in return then put me back down. We both fixed our clothing and smiled. "What are you doing here? After what... seven months?!?"
" Well... Ms. Fireice. I am here to escort you to the McMillen household. Where young master Gunther awaits your comming and sends his great apolgies for not being here himself to escorte you the whole way."
My mouth droped, "You are their driver?? Young master?? Ms. Fireice???... Wait. Let me think. You are the chopher to that big headed pompous pig Gunther???" He noded slowly with a bit of hate hinting in his eyes, yet he said not a word." Very well then. I shall grab my jacket and my purse and then we shall go to where you were told to take me." I ran back into the front living room put on my trench coat, which did not match the high heeled shoes, and grabed what looks like a mini backpack. I, per-Mom, did a lights, window and door check to see if everything was set and of course as normal... they were. Grab house key, shut and double lock front door after setting alarm and off we go. By the time I got done, Grant was not at the door. He had walked to the edge of the front porch. He held out his arm like a proper gentalmen and as a proper lady I took his help. We walked around to a nice small black car and he opened the door and closed it for me. He got in and off we went to see... Young Master Gunther.
* * * * * *
It was a rather short drive. No one talking on the way there, which gave plenty of time to the imagenation of what to expect ahead. I was off thinking about what kind of writing would be on a sword that no one would understand, when we stoped moving. Grant opened my door and I got out to see a three story house that should of been a castle in England. The front door was huge... Frankenstein would of looked small next to it. I could count 5 sets of windows just on this side. To the right was a porch about the size of mine times three and to the left you saw the pool.. the pool. They had their own pool.
" Welcome! Godden.. to my home." There standing at the top of the stairs was Gunther McMillen. He was taller than I by almost a head. He had brown hair and brown eyes that got darker with his different moods. At school he wore clothes like everybody else but today, at home, he looked like a prep. He had the white pants with white shoes and the white polo shirt and a sweater vest. He actually looked... nice. " I hope that I did not affend you by not retreaving you personally but I thought that sending along Mr. Prize would please you well enough."
" Gunther, When did you ever start to care as to what I thought of you our what in the hell you do for or around me? And thank you for letting me come to your home."
He noded and walked down the steps seeming to actually think of what to say next. " Godden. I have never wanted you near me and now that I am stuck with you, I would like to make the most of it. I know we have our .." he pointed at me in my trench while he tried to find a word, which was funny,with a slight hilt he decided "differences" worked.
"Yes, we do. I am willing to try and not kill you while I am here. IF. If you dont wear that stupid attire again around me. ok?"
" Agreed. I actually hate this." He smiled at me while he took off the sweater shirt then the polo shirt.
" Comfy?" I asked after it was clear that the little strip show was over.
" Yes but what about you? You ahve to be hot in that trench coat," her said as he handed Grant his clothes. " take off the coat and we will go inside and await my father." I actually was hot so I did as I was asked. I handed my coat to Grant but felt bad about doing it. When I turned to go inside I saw a sight I did not think I would ever have seen. Gunther was standing there with his mouth pratically on the floor.
" Gunther?? Whats up??"
" Your wearing a skirt! You never wear skirts. You have legs."
I giggled. " Yes, Gunther, I have legs. All humans have legs." I shook my head and started up the stairs but was cut off by gunther by the third step. " umm... Ok?"
"If you are going to look like a lady then you shall be treated like one. One of the things I pride myself in is how to be a gentalman whena lady is present... unless we are in school." He did a very showy bow and held out his arm to me. I smiled did a curtsy and took his arm. Like I said this will be a strange summer.

Originally posted by trinityflame_fv
Hey I know there have to be some bright people out there whom write stories. I know I do but am afraid to show people I know really well for fear they will sthink i am stupid... So iknow you are all nice and truthful.. maybe you could read my stuff and post a cridict about it... and you can also post a story if you want to also... just try and keep it one chapter a post. Mine is the next post down.

i kno how u feel, if i show sum1 1 of my stories im worried theyll think im weird

yeah that is why i made this thread.. you also helped there somewhat iamatwin

cool, well i liked ur story sofar. its well written, i like it!

i have another chapter....next post

When we walked into the house the entrence hall was just like it should of been... huge. There was a nice sized glass table in the center of the room and there were three ways you could go. To your right, which was a large oak door. To your left, which was just a hall. The last way was forward to a lovley staircase with brass railings. The floor was of pure white marbel and on each flat wall was a portrat of a member of Gunther's family. He was deffinatly his father's son. I had not noticed but i had walked off on my own leaving Gunther behind in the door way watching me closely. It was not untill i had turned a complete three sixty that i saw him again and smiles trying not to blush.
"Oh. Sorry Gunther, this is your house and I should not wander off on my own. It is very.... nice." I said trying to seem not so flabergasted. When I said this he just watched with a slight smirk playing acrost his face.
"Nice...I have never heard it put as 'Nice'. it is how ever very true. You are correct it is my home and I have plenty of things I wish to show you. That is if you wish to see?" he asked with a slight hilt in his voice like a child who has a new toy he wants to show off. I just noded and took his arm when he passed by me.
We went into the room with the large oak door. He smiled and told me that i needed to close my eyes. I did not trust him at all. So noramly i refused, which kinda surprized him for he is not used to people declining the orders he gives out in his house.
"I am sorry but I have never been in this house at all and I do not wish to not see where i am going. Now I would like to see the little ladies room if you do not mind for i wish to be ready to meet your father."
"Ah yes father. ~snap and Grant entered~ Grant will show you the way. You trust him. He will lead you to where you wish to go and see and you will then meet me in the family room in one half hour. There we shall see whom you must trust. Till then ... Fair well!" and he literally pushed my out of the roomand slmed the door in my face. I just stood there astonished. So I did what he said. I went to the ladies room and looked around staying close to the family room and when it was time I walked in. In the room was a fireplace that was edged in brass in the shape of a lion's mouth. In the center was a huge table like it was used as a conference room more than a family room. At the other end of the table sat Mr. McMillen, standing behind him was Gunther. That was all that was around. No bodyguards. No boxes of misterious items.
" Good day Mr. McMillen. Now I hope that you did not just bring me all the way out here just to have your son piss me off and me get dressed into something that is dreadfully uncomphortable." I smiles sweetly to him as I said this. Mr. McMillen gave a very stern look to his son and waved him away. I just smiled sweetly as his Gunther walked passed me curseing the whole way. When he had left Mr.McMillen shook his head.
"I am sorry but Gunther seems to think that this is his house already and that we all live by his rules. That must change soon. To answer you question. No. I did not just bring you to be pissed off and to wear such clothing , although, if I may say you look much prettier than what Gunther had discribed you." He stood and walked toward me still talking. " What I brought you here for M'Lady is one reason. I need your skill. I have heard and watched you read text that no one has ever heard of and you know what you are talking about. You know how to do things with items that no one knows what they are even called. Why you have this...gift, this knowledge. I do not know but I will give you room and bored, and what you wish for you to find out what my dagger says and what power it weilds."
" I see what you mean but I must see the dager first before i saw ye, or nay to this for i do not even know if I know the language it is in. I mean do I have a time frame for it may be a dialect that is branched off of another one I might know and I might be able to figure it out that way but it will take time. Lots of time."
" You have as much time as you need but untill you finish your work with the dagger.. you must live in this house. Agreed?"
" Agreed.. Now lets see how much clothes I should pack. Show me the dagger."

i find this one more interesting than the first, its really good :)

Alex Hayes walked into the bus station lobby. She was clutching a backpack filled with her most precious possessions: a picture of her mom, a friendship bracelet from her best friend, Kelly, a few magazines, a portable cd player, some clothes, a bus ticket to Miami Florida, and $500. She was wearing jeans and a light red shirt, which was only a few shades shy of pink. Her dirty blonde hair was draped limply over her shoulders.
Alex glanced outside. It was hot out there, but the bus station (thank God) had a/c. A small, reddish-brown dust devil swept along the same colored dirt. The sun baked down onto the earth. There weren’t any clouds in the sky. It was always blue skies around here, as the name of the small Arizona town would imply, Los Cielos Azules.
Alex couldn’t believe she had finally made it. She was finally leaving. After 6 years of waiting, she was finally getting away.
Alex was running away. Since her mom died, when she was 10, life had been hell. Her father had become abusive, hitting her 3 times a day, minimum. Alex had tried to get help, but no one believed her; her dad knew how to hit her without leaving marks. He also fed her enough to keep her from getting malnutrition.
Alex had been planning about this day for a long time. She knew that she couldn’t leave until she was 16, an age where you could travel the buses without an adult with you. She had slowly been stealing the money from her father so she could get the money to leave and get food and whatever else she would need. He’d suspected it and beat her for suspecting it, but he never found where she’d hidden it: a lose floor board in her closet
Alex sat alone, away from all of the other soon-to-be-passengers. She put on her headphones and listened to a mix consisting of Evanescence, Maroon 5, Metallica, and several other bands. She was half through ‘Going Under’ by Evanescence when she realized she was thirsty. She had only had a pop tart for breakfast. She put her hand in her pocket to see how much lose change she had. She had 75 cents, which was enough for a soda. She finished listening to the song, then took off her headphones and went to find a pop machine.

Noah Hunter put in money for a Pepsi. He pressed the button and waited for the clink of the can falling to the slot. Nothing happened. Noah sighed. He rattled the machine. Again, nothing happened. He ran his fingers through his dark brown hair.
“Great,” he mumbled. “This is just fantastic.” He kicked the machine, but it was no use. It wasn’t so much the fact that he’d lost 75 cents that was bothering Hunter, it was the fact that he owed a gambling debt of $1,000 and didn’t have it. Normally, Hunter didn’t gamble, but he’d been pressured into it by his no-good-gambling-addict-doesn’t-no-when-to-keep-his-mouth-shut-cousin, Lenny.
Hunter leaned against the wall, trying to figure out what to do. He was already skipping town, but he was a drifter and did that all the time anyway. With any luck, Tony Ricardo would forget about the debt.
Then, a girl with dirty blonde hair came up to the pop machine. Hunter glanced at her before going back to thinking about his problems. The girl put in her change and pressed for a Pepsi. She waited patiently, but nothing happened. She paused, and then gave the machine a hard front kick that startled Hunter. It worked. In fact, it worked so well that two Pepsis clanked down, one being Hunter’s.
The girl picked up the two Pepsis, shrugged, and began to walk away. “Hey, kid,” Hunter called after her. The girl stopped and turned around. She gave Hunter an icy glare. “What?” she asked. “Um, that’s my pop,” he said. “How are these yours?” she asked. “I put change in before you and the machine ate my money. So, can I have one of those?” Hunter asked. “If you knew the machine would eat money, how come you didn’t tell me about it? You were right there.” Hunter shook his head. This wasn’t worth it. “Ok, fine. Keep the pop,” he said.
The girl turned around and without so much as a “Thanks” walked away. Hunter watched her as she walked away. He knew what she was. He was curious as to how she had gotten to this point, but he decided to put it behind him.

Alex walked away calmly, but inside she was shaking. Alex was very uncomfortable when it came to being near guys, particularly older guys. But, that was to be expected wasn’t it?

Alex boarded the bus quickly so she could get a nice seat in the back. She went to the back, sat down, and got out her headphones. She listened to the music and started to zone out.
But, then she saw who else was boarding the bus. The man from before was putting a duffel bag in the top baggage compartments. Alex stared at him. Unfortunately for her, he caught her eye. Alex calmly opened one of her sodas (she did it slowly, so she wouldn’t get yelled at for bringing beverages on the bus). The man gave a small smirk, then sat down toward the front of the bus.
Alex felt relieved. She didn’t want to talk to anyone. She wanted to be left alone while she savored her first taste of freedom in 6 years.

Later, when it was dark out and most of the other passengers were asleep, Alex was flipping through the pages of Teen People. She didn’t realize that Hunter was staring at her from his seat.
Hunter was overcome with curiosity. He’d met runaways before, but there was just something about this girl. Something he couldn’t out his finger on, but he knew it was there. He got up and walked over to a seat diagonally from her.
Alex didn’t notice Hunter until he reached over and tapped her on the shoulder. She jumped and ripped her headphones off.
“Hey, hey, calm down,” said Hunter. “What do you want?” she snapped. “I just want to talk. There’s nothing else to do,” he answered. “Then talk to your self. Leave me alone.”
“Who is it?” Hunter asked quietly. “Huh?” Alex looked up, confused. “Who are you running away from? Strict parents? Mean kids? Step-parent?” Hunter quietly asked. Alex looked out the window and didn’t answer.
Hunter held out his hand kindly, but Alex winced the instant she saw it move. It was an involuntary reaction; her body just read what her eyes saw and reacted the way it did when Alex’s father’s hand moved. Hunter said as he withdrew his hand, “I won’t hurt you kid. I’m not like that. But I’ll warn you: not everyone else is like me. It’s dangerous for a kid like you to be alone. You won’t survive unless you make a few friends. Let me help you.”
Alex continued to stubbornly stare out into the black outside. Hunter sighed. “Ok, well what’s your name? Can you at least tell me that so I don’t call you ‘kid’ throughout this entire trip?” he asked. Alex looked at him, but hesitated. She wasn’t going to tell him her real name, but she was willing to give him a fake name…
“Amy. Amy Moody,” she answered. Hunter gave a small smile. “My name’s Hunter. Noah Hunter.” He offered his hand again. Alex gave another involuntary wince and turned away. Noah shrugged. At least he’d gotten somewhere. “Well, nice talking to you, Amy Moody,” he said as he got up and went back to his original seat.

p.s. trinityflame, keep up the good work. you have skill.

Good stuff both of you. Can't wait to see the next installments :)

/me bookmarks the page and scoots off to bed as its 3:50am :o

Er shouldn't this be in the fan fiction section? then again it may not qualify as matrix fan fiction...
nicely done...though a bit thick on the details. i'm sorry i couldn't have time to read it more clearly but i have to sleep...keep those posts going! in the meantime check out the fan fiction section...the stories there are impressive indeed-check out Choi's matrix v3.3

The next day, Alex and Noah didn’t make any contact with each other. Alex made sure to not look up toward his seat. She didn’t trust him. She listened to the same c.d. about one hundred times before the bus stopped at a small restaurant for dinner.
Alex took off her headphones. She’d skipped lunch when they’d stopped at McDonald’s. She checked her supply of money. Inside her bag were some $20s, $10s, and $5s. She took a $20 and headed out of the bus; last, as usual.

Inside the small restaurant there was a small bar, which was surrounded by round, wooden tables, and the exterior were booths. Hunter took a table close to the bar. He ordered a Mike’s Hard Lemonade.
Alex took a small table by itself in a corner. She wanted her privacy. However, this attempt proved to be in vain, because a teenage guy, about 18 or 19 saw her from the bar (he was using a fake ID) and approached her.
Alex noticed him out of the corner of her eye. Don’t come over here, she silently begged. The guy came right up to her table. Alex looked down. Her heart was racing.
“Where you headed?” the guy asked. “Nowhere,” Alex said coolly. “Why, what a coincidence. I was headed out by there myself,” replied the guy as he slid into a chair next to Alex.
Alex said in a cold voice, “I didn’t invite you to join me.” The guy put his arm over her shoulder. “Then I guess I’ll invite myself,” he said in a smug tone.
Hunter noticed Alex’s problem. The teenage boy was clearly a creep. Hunter got up from his seat.
“Will you please leave me alone?” Alex asked. “Come on, baby. Don’t you want to take a ride with me?” said the guy. “No, I don’t. Go away,” said Alex as she lifted his arm off of her. Then the guy got nasty. He apparently wasn’t used to being refused.
He grabbed her wrist very tightly. “You’re hurting me,” said Alex through gritted teeth. “You’re going for a ride, whether you want to or not,” said the guy as he gripped her wrist even tighter.
Hunter was almost at Alex’s table. But that’s when something strange happened. Alex grabbed the guy’s left arm. The guy was so surprised by this, he let go of her arm. Then Alex twisted his arm behind his back, twisted it a few more times, then forced his upper body and face onto the hard wood table.
“Ow! Geez! Why you little…” the guy grunted. “Shut up!” Alex snapped. The guy obeyed, but gritted his teeth. “I want you to leave this building and go back to wherever you came from, got it?” said Alex quietly. The guy mumbled something. “I didn’t catch that,” said Alex. “Okay!” the guy barked. Alex released him and sat down to her table, oblivious to the staring customers and Hunter.
Hunter walked briskly over to Alex and sat down at her table. “Okay, I think it’s time you told me what in the Sam hill you are,” said Hunter in a low voice. “What do you mean?” said Alex casually as she scanned a menu. “I mean the soda machine, the little stunt you just pulled,” said Hunter with a look at the creep leaving the restaurant in a big hurry. “Where did you learn this stuff?” “Let’s just say I learned it from my dad,” said Alex quietly.

i like your Alex story.. fun... I am currently with writers block but will get it out of my head soon

Originally posted by trinityflame_fv
i am stupid


Dont say that about you'r self the more you think you cant do it the more you cant the more you belive in your self the better you are at what ever you belive you can do!

What the crap is going on here all the words srunk!!!!

I think that you all show great talent. I hope you keep writing and keep posting them coz I cant get enough. I dont write alot. Only for my cadet mag but that still cool.

sorry guys abou tnot posting a new chapter but i still have writers block and school my 12 year statred to day so i will be quite busy

Originally posted by trinityflame_fv
sorry guys abou tnot posting a new chapter but i still have writers block and school my 12 year statred to day so i will be quite busy

writers block sucks, i kno i get it all the bloody time!

Its a solid start, hopefully u get the chance to finish it.

I was never able to write long stories like that. I would always get distracted after a few pages and never get back to it. So now I relegate myself to short poems. And I still have a hard time finishing some of those. :p

i get that, all inspired about a story then as u write it u get bored and end up stopping it or getting writers block

oh this story i am shareing with you guys is short. When it was written out it was only about 3 pages a chapter. I mean on the computer it is only like a page in a half.. the chapters are really short and that is really bothering me for some reason.