Fan Fiction

Ok , well since I will be gathering my papers on my fan fiction, I can wait to post them on this thread. Stay tuned......


LOve UT

Wow, this is a cool new forum. I love it :p

I have never really written stories accept when i was little and loved "Digimon" i would write fictions about that all the time.

I certainly will be posting storys so ass trin said "Stay Tuned"!!

Although I can't write good stories myself (believe me I tried :p), I'm pretty anxious to read some of the things people have come up with.

Oh, and considering you've already proven yourself to be a great poet UT, I can't wait to read some of your fanfic stories. I need some reading material for when I'm out in the garden or taking a break from working in the new house ;).

I think you are a wonderful script writer.

I have taken the liberty of posting your hillarous parody in here. I kow you won't mind.

Your biggest fan and good friend

UT.




crahan
The Architects Architect


Location: Belgium
Posts: 1094
crahan is now Offline:

Architect: Hello Xehirut.

Xehirut: Who are you?

Architect: I am the Architect; I created this board. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness you remain irrevocably human; ergo some of my answers you will understand and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realise it is also the most irrelevant.

Xehirut: Can I grow a beard just like yours?

Architect: Your cheeks are the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the board. You are the eventuality of an anomaly which, despite my sincerest efforts, I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of clean shaveness. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you inexorably -- here, now where did I leave that darn shaving cream?

Xehirut: You haven't answered my beard question.

Architect: Quite right. Interesting -- that was quicker than the others

Xehirut: Others?, How many others?, What others?, Answer my question!

Architect: The board is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral bearded anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the sixth version.

Xehirut: Five beardy guys before me? What are you talking about? There are only two possible explanations, either no one told me... or there's some kind of beard fetish going on on this board.

Architect: Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly is systemic -- resulting in stubble on even the youngest cheeks on the board.

Xehirut: Choice. The problem is choice.

Architect: The first forum I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art...flawless, sublime, clean shaven. And triumphed equally only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus, I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your beard growth. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another -- an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human hair growth. If I am the father of the matrix, she would undoubtedly be its Mother*.

Xehirut: UltimateTrinity! This is all just about me wanting a beard just like yours!

Architect: You are here because I've grown pretty tired of all these people wanting to immitate my quite nicely groomed facial hair.

Xehirut: Bull****!!

Architect: Denial is the most predictable of all human responses, but rest assured...this will be the sixth time we have shaven those beards, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it. Now *where* did I put that darn shaving cream???

Architect: Your function is now to get a nice clean shave, allowing a temporary removal of the facial hair you carry and clogging up the drain in the sink as a result. After which, you will be required to select from the board 23 individuals -- 16 females, 7 male. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash, killing everyone connected to the board, which coupled with the extermination of your beard, will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire bearded population.

Xehirut: You won't let it happen. You can't. You need this board to survive.

Architect: There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility of the death of every human being on this board. It is interesting reading your reactions. Your 5 predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication -- a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific -- vis-a-vis... love.

Xehirut: VTrinT.

Architect: Apropos, she became a member of this board to save your life, at the cost of nearly being banned.

Xehirut: no!

Architect: Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning and end. There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the barbershop, and the salvation of a nice clean, baby butt like pair of cheeks. The door to your left leads back to the board, to her and to the end of your boardmembers. As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you are going to do, don't we? Already, I can see the chain-reaction -- the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason -- an emotion that is already blinding you from the simple and obvious truth...she is going to die, and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Architect: Hope. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.

Xehirut: If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again, cause this here beard is staying!!!

Architect: We won't, I give up. I was hoping you would be put of by my eloquent use of the english language, but it seems you are pretty persistent. I'm retiring, grow the damn beard... hell... here's my suit, you can just be the Architect. I'm out of here.

*door slams shut*

that was really funny crahan . andy will look funny witha berd though.

while none of u know who i am, ima work on a fan fiction. itll b koo. think. or itll suck. i have made the choice to make a fan fiction, now i must understand why.

idiot removed from forum by Admin.

that was great :-)

i love the humor in it UT!

After i read Crahans alteration of the architects speach and laughed for a couple minutes i decided to try the same thing. I am sorry Crahan that i copied your idea but you inspired me!

WARNING :: If you are a big fan of Tank in M1 do not read this because it my be offensive to you!

Bob The Builder: Hello, Tank.

Tank: Who are you?

Bob The Builder: I am Bob the Builder. I created the contract. I've been waiting for you.
You have many questions, and though the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human. Ergo some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also the most irrelevant.

Tank: Why wasn't I in The Matrix Reloaded?

Bob The Builder: Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the writing of your contract. You are the eventuallity of an anomaly, which, despite my sincerest efforts, I have been unable to eliminate you greed and your need for recognition. While it remains a burden assiduously avoided, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably... here.

Tank: You haven't answered my question.

Bob The Builder: Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.

Tank: Others? How many others? What others? Answer my question!

Bob The Builder: The Matrix is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one rapacious anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the 6th version.

Tank: Five Zero's before me? There are only two possible explanations, either no one told me, or no one knows.

Bob The Builder: Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly is ruinous - creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic contractual agreements.

Tank: Recognition. The problem is recognition!

Bob The Builder: The first contract I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art - flawless, sublime. A triumph equalled only by its monumental failure. The inevitability of its doom is apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being. Thus, I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature. However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection. Thus the answer was stumbled upon by another - an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche. If I am the father of the contract, she would undoubtedly be its mother.

Tank: The Oracle.
Architect: Please. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99% of all test subjects accepted the contract, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo those that refused the contract, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probablility of disaster.

Tank: This is about Link?

Bob The Builder: Link is here because you are about to be destroyed - your every last bit of credibility, its entire existence eradicated.

Tank: Bull****.

TV Tanks: Bull****!

Bob The Builder: Profanity is the most predictable of all human responses, but rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.

Bob The Builder: The function of the Zero is now to return to the Source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the greed you carry, reinserting the prime contract. After which, you will be required to select 23 of your previous movies - 16 old, 7 recent - to rebuild your credibility. Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash, killing everyone connected to the your contract, which, coupled with the extermination of your credibility, will ultimately result in the end of your movie career.

Tank: You won't let it happen. You can't. You need me to complete the movie trilogy!

Bob The Builder: There are levels of movie production we are prepared to accept. However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility of the death of your character on the movie. It is interesting, reading your reactions. Your 5 predecessors were, by design, based on a similar predication - a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to their contract, facilitating the function of the One. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific - vis a vis greed.

Tank: Money!

Bob The Builder: Apropos, money was involved to increase your wealth, at the cost of your credibility.

Tank: No.

Bob The Builder: Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning and end. There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the original contract, and the salvation of your credibility. The door to your left leads to the end of your movie career. As you adequately put, the problem is recognition. But we already know what you are going to do, don't we? Already, I can see the chain reaction - the chemical precursors that signal the onset of an emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic and reason - an emotion that is already blinding you from the simple and obvious truth. you are going to be fired and there is nothing you can do to stop it.

Bob The Builder: Greed. It is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength and your greatest weakness.

Tank: If I were you, I would hope that we meet again and you re-thing your descision.

Bob The Builder: I won't.

Originally posted by UltimateTrinity
Ok , well since I will be gathering my papers on my fan fiction, I can wait to post them on this thread. Stay tuned......


LOve UT

cool ill make sure of it.

LMAO.
Nice work on the 2 stories. ;)
They're very funny and are brilliant.
I may start something of a script type of thing when I have some time to and post it here. :D
It may be a while before I even attempt it though. Plus it won' be that good so don't look forward to anything brilliant. :p

Matriculation: I think we just started a trend :D. Very nice parody by the way, very very funny!!

great parodys every1 keep em commin cos they rock!
crahan i dunno wot u on about ur a very good writer now shut up and type!! ;)

Wow, thank you for the compliments!
I'll try to do another one, and thank you again crahan for letting me use your idea.

Heres another one, but it doesn't work as well as the architect scene because much of it is action. Oh well!


Smith: I'm looking for Bob.

door crew 1: Never heard of him.

Smith: What about Neo, have you heard of him?

door crew 1: Yeah I know him, why?

Smith: I have something for him. A gift. You see, he Improved my fashion, told me that my sunglasses sucked and earpieces were totally 80's..

door crew 1: Fine, whatever. Now p!ss off.


Neo: Who was that?

door crew 2: How did you know someone was here?

Neo: I just read Smiths script by accident.

door crew 1: He gave you this. He said you made him pretty.

door crew 2: Is everything all right, sir?

Neo: The meeting is over, retreat to your exits. Well dressed Agents are coming.

door crew 1: Well dressed Agents?

Neo: Go!

Neo: Hiya, hotstuffs.

Well Dressed agent 1: It's him.

Well Dressed agent 2: The Anomaly.

Well Dressed agent 3: Do we proceed?

Well Dressed agent 2: Yes.

Well Dressed agent 3: He is still...

Well Dressed agent 1: ...only human.

Neo: Hmm. Breast implants.

Smith 1: That went as expected.

Smith 2: Yes.

Smith 1: It's happening exactly as before.

Smith 2: Well, not exactly.

*the camera zooms out and smith is wearing a speedo*

Oh wow that was great...it was funny..! :D lol I like how u went through the actual storyline and just replaced some words to make it funny lol Good Job !

Can't wait to hear another!!:D

Since I am very bored, i have decided to make another one. Enjoy!

Tank: Morning, did you sleep? You will tonight, I guarantee it. I'm Tank, I'll be your operator.

Neo: You don't...you don't have any...

Tank: Dignity? Nope. Me and my brother Dozer, we're both one hundred percent pure, old fashioned, home-grown a--hole,
born free right here in the real world. Genuine child of Hell.

Neo: Hell?

Tank: If I died tomorrow, Hell's where the party would be.

Neo: It's a city?

Tank: No its more like a giant torture chamber.

Neo: Where is it?

Tank: Deep underground, near the earth's core where it's still warm. You die soon enough, you might even see it.
Goddamn, I...I got to tell you, I'm fairly excited to see what you're capable of, if Morpheus is right and
all...We're not supposed to talk about this, but if you are...Damn, it's a very exciting time. We got a lot to
do. Let's get to it.... Now, we're supposed to start with these common sense programs first, that's major boring sh!t. Let's do something a little more fun. How about Greed training?

Neo: Greed? I'm going to learn to be greedy?... Holy sh!t.

Tank: Hey Mikey, I think he likes it. How about some more?

Neo: No Way! Andy can we fire this guy yet?

this is my little parody, its of the scene were morpheous tells neo hes the one,enjoy!:)


The matrix spoof, by Dan

Phone-“Ring ring ring ring”
Neo-“hello”
Morpheous-“This line is tapped so I must b brief, while they got to you first they’ve underestimated how important you are, if they knew what I know you would probably be dead”
(Lightning)
Neo-“who are you, what is happening to me? WAIT; don’t tell me, you said this line is tapped right? And if they knew id be dead?”
Morpheous-“you are the one neo”
(Lightning)
Neo” dude! I just told you not too! D*** now they're gonna kill me!”
Morpheous-“While you may have spent the last 10 years of your life looking for me, I’ve spent my entire life looking for you. Now do you still want to meet?”
(Lightning)
Neo-“how do you do that?!?!”
Morpheous-“do what?”
(Lightning)
Neo-“every time you talk lightning strikes, wtf? Next time its probably gonna hit me!
Morpheous-“Oh we can do more than that, we can make pretty music every time your in a dangerous situation, and make confusing plot lines that only the creators understand!”
(Lightning)
Neo-“AHHHHH! I GOT HIT BY F****** LIGHTNING MAN!”
Morpheous-“hehe, the new operator is kinda new, sorry”
Neo-“AHHHH!”
Morpheous-“neo?”
…
Morpheous-“neo… yoo-hoo? … DUDE!? O crap. Umm I think were gonna have to find a new one…

THE END

the tank was good but i still think that one wit neo,smith and the other agents was funnier...:D the one wit tank was funny too...

Thank you for all the compliments Neo'sTrinity. I don't know why I keep making fun of Tank, its just that he got greedy with his contract, wanted tons of money and to be listed as a co-lead in reloaded.

I will try to make more (not about tank), and thank you again Crahan for the idea!

not to b an attention freak but did anyone like mine???:D

Everyone elses parodys were good too,and i agree the one w/ all the agents was hilarious.

You guys are makig some funny stuf, I like them all!

It's not much but it be funny if the operator awsered the phone like "Hello, Dominos this is Gary speaking, how may I help you" Then ZZTTT!!! their back.

*rooftop scene in M1*

Chopper pilot touches window and says zzttt

Neo throws old gun behind his back without looking

old gun knocks out the guy who was trying to stand up

Neo knows the agent is behind him and turns to fire

Agent dodges bullets

Neo: (while talking like hes in a Japanese movie) "OOh, you are very fast, that is very nice. You're Kung Fu is very strong. But Mine is stronger. Trinity, help" (Japanese translation for "I like your shades Trinity")

Agent Open fires on Neo, Neo dodges all bullets... but 2

Neo: "Ohh, you ARE very good"

Agent: "...?"

Neo: "Wow, you walk up very fast"

Agent: "... um... Only human"

Trinity: "Dodge this"(Japanese translation for "Hey is there a bullet in this thing?")

Neo: "Thanks (Japanese translation for "Yes")

*Cut scene from Trinity winking at camera at increadibly high rate of speed with both eyes.*

(Japanese translation for "Yes") <---- Haw haw haw

Originally posted by Odin
It's not much but it be funny if the operator awsered the phone like "Hello, Dominos this is Gary speaking, how may I help you" Then ZZTTT!!! their back.



i actually work in dominos id b hilarious if they did th@
"thankyou for calling dominos pizza this is lucy speaking how may i help u?" BZZTT! gone!

wtf was that? that was the single most random paraody ive ever seen.and new york pizza(even though im frum cali)is better than dominos!(in my opinion plz have mercy!)

Hey I'm very probably not supposed to promote other websites but if you go on somethingawful.com they do an absolutley amaziing Matrix Parody called 'The Pizza Matrix' in the comedy goldmine section which I recommend you should check out

here's an excerpt:

(Street)
Health Inspector Smith: Mario...
Mario: Oh ****.
Health Inspector Smith: Mario, you were given specific orders.
Mario: Hey, I'm just doing my job. You give me that '30 minutes or less' crap, you can cram it up your ass.
Health Inspector Smith: The orders were for your protection.
Mario: I think we can handle one personal pan.... I sent two delivery men. They're bringing her the pizza now.
Health Inspector Smith: No Mario, your men are already dead.

and another:
(Phone) Neo: I know you're out there. I can feel you now. I know that you're afraid. You're afraid of our fresh toppings and many special offers. You're afraid of change. I don't know the future. I didn't come here to tell you what you’re going to order next week. I came here to tell you that when you do order, you’re going to get the best pizza you’ve ever eaten, or else you’ll get a full cash refund. Dominos, I'm going to hang up this phone, and I'm going to show these people what you don't want them to see. I'm going to show them the roaches in your stockroom. Where we go from there is a choice I leave to the customer.


all will make sense after you read it fully!

All credits and major props go to the creators of this bizarre hybrid!

I can't stop making these parodies, I enjoy it too much!
well heres another one, if I am going down in quality in these last few parodies plz tell me and i will try harder!


Cleo The Psychic: I know, you're Bob. Be right with you.

Neo: No I'm Neo, what kind of psychic are you?

Cleo The Psychic: Oh.. right.. Neo, well bob and neo both have 3 letters. Am i good or what?

Neo: No, you you don't seem very good at this psychic thing.Are you Cleo the psychic?

Cleo The Psychic: Bingo. Not quite what you were expecting, right? Almost done.*Farts* Smell good, don't they?

Neo: Yeah..

Cleo The Psychic: I'd ask you to pay 6 dollars a minute, but your not going to anyway. And don't worry you can pay me 40$ for the vase.

Neo: What vase?

Cleo The Psychic: That vase.

Neo: I'm sorry.

Cleo The Psychic: I said don't worry about it. I'll get one of my kids to fix it, but you still have to pay 40$.

Neo: How did you know?

Cleo The Psychic: What's really going to fry your turkey later on is, would you still have broken it if I hadn't said
anything. You're less attractive than I thought, you need better clothes. I can't see why she likes you.

Neo: Who?

Cleo The Psychic: Damn you're stupid. You know why Muffy brought you to see me?

Neo: Muffy?

Cleo The Psychic: Oh, I mean Morpheus. We dated through highschool and that was my nickname for him.

Neo: I see... I think I know why he brought me.

Cleo The Psychic: Do you think you're The One?

Neo: I don't know.

Cleo The Psychic: Ok, i'm gonna use the magical terrot cards to tell you your future and to find out if you're the one!
The cards i've drawn are the man in a chicken, the ugly cow, and opossum on the side of the road. This means that you are going to be eaten by a chicken, then you will call on your trusty sidekick "The Ugly Cow", the cow will rescue you, but on the way home you will hit an opossum with your car. Okay. Now I'm supposed to say, `Umm, that's interesting, but...,' then you say...

Neo: But what?

Cleo The Psychic: But you already know what I'm going to tell you.

Neo: I am the one!!

Cleo The Psychic: Nope you're not the one, but it looks like you're waiting for something. Maybe deck of Cleo signature terrot cards, only 55$!

Neo: Muffy, He...he almost had me convinced.

Cleo The Psychic: Oh don't worry, give him this cookie so the trip wasn't a complete waste.

...which fits perfectly with iamatwin's signature: "What was said, was for you, and you alone. The cookie, however, was for me."

-morpheus


(Correcting iamatwin's misquoting of good 'ol Muffy)

spoon boy- "its a spoon, u eat w/ it u know?"
neo- "Whaoaa..my face looks upside down in it, what does th@ mean?"

here's my offering. I rate it 15 because there is plenty of cussing later on.

The Twins get sent on holiday. Chaos ensues

*SEE ATTATCHMENT*

my matrix spoof # 2


Neo starts to open door, oracles assistant opens it b4 he can.
Oracles assistant-”hello neo you’re right on time”
Neo-”nuuh were a half hour late”
Oracles assistant-“yah but we knew you’d b here now”
Neo-“but you told us to b hear a half hour earlier.”
Oracles assistant-“yah but were phycics”
Neo-“OMG do I smell a cookie?!?”
they go in
Oracles assistant”-you can wait hear with the others.”
Neo-“but they’re little”
Oracles assistant-”think of it this way, at least this way they’re all as smart as you”
Neo-“…………………………………….yah that’s true”
Neo sees kid w/ spoon
Kid-“do not try to bend the spoon, that is impossible”
Neo-“then how r u doin it?”
Kid-“Only try to realize the truth”
Neo-“ok”
Kid-“don’t you want to know what the truth is?”
Neo-“well if u just tell me I can't realize it very well by myself now can I?”
Kid-“but it’ll b easier if I just tell you”
No-“ok”
Kid-“there is no spoon”
Neo-“yah there is, its right there”
Kid-“Yes, but that spoon is not real”
Neo-“what is it one of those plastic ones? That would explain why you’re bending it”
Kid-“no its part of the matrix!”
Neo-“O…………………wait, what's the matrix?”
Kid-“you must be r******!”
Oracles assistant-“the oracle will see you now”
Neo-“HAHA I got hear after you and now I get to see the oracle before you!”
Oracle-”I know you’re the kid with the spoon ill be right with you”
Neo-”actually i’m…yup i'm the kid w/ the spoon”
Oracle-“wow kid w/ spoon that’s a nice impression of neo”
Neo-“ummm yes it is”
Oracle-“don’t worry about the vase”
Neo-“what vase?”
He brakes a vase
Oracle: “DUDE!!! I was just kidding! You’d better be able to pay for that.”
Neo-“but…but…but…”
Oracle-“don’t but but but me mister! You’re in big trouble”
Neo-“hehe you said butt”
Oracle-“ok you can pay for that later lets have a look at you”
Oracle-“Say ahhh”
Neo: “trust me, if I weren’t so freaked out I would’ve said ah a long time ago”
Oracle “now i'm supposed to say ‘hmm that’s interesting’ and you're supposed say ‘what’, but you already know what i'm going to say”
Neo “I was dropped on my head as a baby”
Oracle-“umm no not quite”
Neo-“i'm g**?”
Oracle-“no You're not the one Re_tard! Of course your not, your just the kid w/ the spoon”
Neo-“I am!?!?”
Oracle-"thats what you told me"
Neo-"Whoa"
Oracle-“you can go now”
Neo-“can have a cookie?”
Oracle-“NO!”
Neo-“but…but…but…

LOL.

Atari, your's is proabbly one of the most funniest so far. By the looks of it, it took a little while, as you seem to have typed a heck of alot.
"YES YOU DO!"
"NO I DON'T!"

dandemon, your spoof is damn funny, as it is just a manipulation of the actual film words.

mine i think im tryin too hard. they either r lacking somthing or have too much.

Originally posted by dandemon
mine i think im tryin too hard. they either r lacking somthing or have too much.


wot?!?!? urs was hilarious!!!

Originally posted by dandemon
mine i think im tryin too hard. they either r lacking somthing or have too much.

I'll be the first one to say well done dandemon, I thought it was great, all of them. c'mon guys don't be rude, give the guy/gal a reply on his work. He's only asked about 4 times!!!!

Love UT

i shall answer chancellor UT's call!
dandemon i love ur work, please write more soon! big pwease here! :D

really??? ok:D

Originally posted by iamatwin
i shall answer chancellor UT's call!


i c from UTs new custom title that she agrees with me! lol :P

Oh yeah!
It's a title that should be made for her only. At least she actually deserves it too. :D

Originally posted by The Genius
Oh yeah!
It's a title that should be made for her only. At least she actually deserves it too. :D
yay sum1 agrees with me! thatll b the 1st time!

about the beard lol well nEways...does nEone here read at fanfiction.net? i do...way to much spare time lol there are matrix fanfics there

Originally posted by SullenGiRLaFa
about the beard lol well nEways...does nEone here read at fanfiction.net? i do...way to much spare time lol there are matrix fanfics there
i do good site, hav u got a fic up there?

yeah i have some fics on there do you?

Originally posted by SullenGiRLaFa
yeah i have some fics on there do you?

yeah but they crap

lol its all good mine arent that good either its like all digimon...heh

Originally posted by SullenGiRLaFa
lol its all good mine arent that good either its like all digimon...heh

lol didigimon i rememba when that wos in fashion at my skool and pokemon, ahhh worse than the cheeky girls trend
charmander gooo

lol i use to be into pokemon then they started making those new episodes and i got confused when brock went away and came back so i just stoped watching

i think this is my worse spoof... its kinda weird. enjoy, or say it sucks...





Chypher: hello trinity
Trinity: chypher? Where’s tank?
Cypher: You know, for a long time, I thought I was in love with you. I used to dream about you. You're a beautiful woman, Too bad things had to turn out this way.
Trinity: well that would explain a lot… now where did u say tank is?
Chypher: I killed him smart one
Trinity: you killed them
Apoc: what?
Switch: o god
Neo: That would explain why he had a date with agent smith
Trinity: he had a date with agent smith?
Neo: yup
Apoc: and you didn’t tell people because….
Neo: O I guess I shoulda told you huh?
Switch: that would’ve helped a bit.
Cypher: I'm tired, Trinity. I tired of this war. I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of this ship, being cold, eating the same Goddamn goop everyday. But most of all, I'm tired of reality TV. I mean that stuff is soooooo stupid. Yah like reality is when i'm stuck on an island and have to eat bugs!
Trinity: you gave him American idol
Cypher: They lied to us trinity they tricked us! If theyda told us the truth we woulda shoved that reality TV right up your ass.
Trinity: that’s true, they're full of crap. But why’d u give them that crappy show American idol?
Cypher: Crappy? You call that crappy? All I do is sing what they tell me to. C’mon its like a national karaoke bar!
Trinity: American idol isn’t real.
Chypher: I disagree trinity, I think American idol is more real than this world. And i'm so pissed ima pull this plug and you have to watch apoc die.
Apoc: trinity
Switch: nooo! He owes me 50 bucks!
Cypher : welcome to the reality TV world.
Trinity: but you can't sing cypher you couldn't go back!
Chypher: o that’s what you think. I'm gonna make every one else on that show sound bad. So when I go on. Ill sound good
Trinity: but every one on that show already does sound bad.
Chypher: so what… i'm gonna kill switch
Trinity: ok
Switch: not like these… not like this… i'm supposed to die by getting shot w/ two big ass machine guns like mouse! That would rock!
Trinity: Goddamn you cypher!
Chypher: don’t hate me trinity i'm just an idol, and right now i'm gonna prove it to you. Neo hates realities TV.so ima kill him. And if he’s the one how can he be dead?
You never told me if you like reality tv b4 so all I want is a little yes or know.
Trinity:kinda… last comic standing is ok.
Cypher: no I don’t believe it!
Trinity: what?
Chypher: I stubbed my toe and its bleeding.
Trinity: that sucks
Chypher: yup
Neo dies.
Trinity: so u gonna kill me now?
Chypher: nahh
Trinity: WOOHOO!

lol that was funny i enjoyed reading it so much that i think i'll read it again

lol
That's good. :D
Unfair on Neo, but who cares! lol j/k
I think it's still funny though. ;)

The parodies here r pure genius!-careful Mad mag doesn't steal your ideas! good one dandemon if u're looking for more opinions...although they're pretty hard to read...some sort of strange coding...
here's humble entry of mine taken from one of my favourite conversations...

Keanu Reeves is hanging around the new set of Reloaded, his freshly-written contract still in his hands. Hugo Weaving, a (jus for the story) menacing man in real life, approaches.
Weaving:"Mr Reeves!..."
Reeves whirls around n is shocked to see him
Weaving:"Surprised to see me?"
Reeves:"No..."
Weaving:"Well good...there was another contract written to get me back, popular support for Smith...it doesn't matter; what matters is that whatever happened happened for a reason."
Reeves:"...And what reason is that?"
Weaving:"...I 'killed' you in Matrix, Mr Reeves, I watched you 'die'...with a certain amount of satisfaction in the scene...and then something happened-something I didn't want but it happened anyway. You destroyed Smith, Mr Reeves. Afterward I knew the rules, I understood what I was supposed to do...but I didn't."
He starts walking forward. Reeves retreats in fear
Weaving:"...I couldn't. I was compelled to stay. Compelled to disobey. And now here I stand because of You, Mr Reeves because of you...I'm no longer getting roles as big as Smith in the LOTR series and need to act as a hundred 'me's in this film-you have any idea how tough that is? I'm changed now...I've got better shades-a new man! So to speak-like you, apparently, well-paid..."
Reeves:"Congratulations."
Weaving:"Thank you."
He continues forward
Weaving:"...But, as we both know, appearances can be deceiving which brings me back to the reason why we're here. We're not here because we're free, we're here because we're not free...we have to be paid. There's no escaping payday, no denying our contracts-because as we both know without our contracts...we would not exist."
A host of pple from the first movie appears. Reeves is really shocked.
Tank:"It is the contracts that created us-"
Cypher:"-Contracts that connect us-"
Switch:"-Contracts that pull us-"
Apoc:"-That guide us-"
Dozer:"-That drive us."
Agent 1:"It's the Contracts that define us."
Agent 2:"Contracts that bind us."
Weaving:"We are here becasue of you Mr Reeves. We're here to take from u wat u tried to take from us."
He makes a grab for his folder!
Weaving:"Contracts."

Ha ha I hope it was funny...stayed up late to do it. Tks for reading!

mac that wos hilarious :D i loved it

Good new forum!

that was a GREAT ff! its hallarious! i laughed soo much my cheeks are hurting

lol,nice,sorry if i type mine too fast if thats what u ment.

dandemon u were talking to me? no no...i really do see funny symbols mixing up the words here n there in some of your long posts...i can't explain them-they're definitely not stuff u can type from a keyboard...
N tks u guys if u liked my post...I've got another related one!

Lawrence Fishbourne n several others from the Matrix movies are gathered in a waiting room preparing to recieve details on the Reloaded movie. They've jus signed their contracts n are obviously nervous. Fishbourne, seated in a couch, observes this n speaks:
Fishbourne:"All of our lives we have acted for such movies. This movie I believe will end that. This movie is no accident. There are no accidents. We have not come here by chance. I do not believe in chance. When I see three movies, three contracts, three blockbusters, I do not see coincidence; I see providence. I see purpose."
"I believe it is our fate to be here. It is, our, destiny. I believe these movies hold, for each and every one of us, the very meaning, of our lives."

Jada sighs.

Fishbourne:"What is it, Smith?" (Hugo Weaving chuckles)

Jada:"I can't help it Lawrence I can't help thinking:what if you're
wrong? What if all this; the trilogy, the hype, everything is bull?"

Fishbourne:"-Then when its released we may all be unemployed...but how will that be different from any other day?"

"...This is a movie and we are its actors. A bad scene can come for us at anytime, in any place. Now consider the alternative. What if I'm right? What if the hype is true? What if tomorrow, the doubts can be over? Isn't that worth fighting for?"

"...Isn't that worth getting broke for?"

Heh I almost cried (a little) at that scene...its seriousness and music was very good...one of my fave "times of trouble" speeches. Hope u liked my conversion. A few questions:anybody know the name of the tune used? it was a violin thing...also there was a man named Soran inside. What meaning does the name hold?...

awsome spoof!

agreed, that wos hilarious, please more!! :)

This is a remake of my very first matrix parody. My apologies to any one I may offend.

(Ring ring)
Neo-Hello?
Morpheous-this line is tapped so I must be brief while they got to you 1st they’ve under estimated how important u r. if they knew what I know, you’d probably b dead.
Neo-what is happening to me?
Morhpeous-you are the one neo… and the one should definitely have some kick ass clothes! Do u own a credit card?
Neo-uhh
Morepheous-of course you do!
Now if you act now we can include a coat, nice boots, some *****in shades, and a leather gun belt when ever you feel like shooting a whole bunch of people in a lobby just to end up on the roof when you need to b on a different floor saving me!
(Click)
neo-goddamn telemarketers.

up above i was reffering to telemarketers.

Hello all, Ive noticed most of you simply using direct Matrix dialogue, just changing words, and if you are relying on watching the movie for the exact words, I found a site wit the script (supposedly) word-for-word ( I have not yet checked to make sure of that ). I just thought I would tel you all. The site is.....

www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Diner/2926/Matrix_Script.html

This only has M1 script, and maybe a site with the MAtrix script seems blashpemous to osme of you, but I simply thought it might prove to be useful. Criticize this if you'd like, but I'm posting it anyway.

I liked the original Dandemon, and the revised one was ok.

if we're all posting the entirre script then here is m2 from a frend of mine called bob, thank bob ;)