Presidential Joke!

Presidential Qualifications?


TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE
IS UNDER-QUALIFIED

10. He promises to improve foreign relations with Hawaii.

9. He runs a series of attack ads against Martin Sheen's character on
"The West Wing."

8. His #1 choice for a position on his cabinet is "That Bob Vila guy."

7. His outstanding record as Governor of Rhode Island is nullified by
the fact that no one really cares.

6. He got his degree in Political Economics by bribing Sally Struthers
with a chocolate donut.

5. When anybody mentions Washington, he asks, "The state or the DC
thingie?"

4. At the debates, he answers every question with a snarled, "You
wanna wrestle?!?"

3. He vows to put an end to the war in Pokemon and free the Pikachu
refugees once and for all.

2. He says the Pledge of Allegiance as quickly as possible, then shouts,
"I win!"

And the Number 1 Sign Your Presidential Candidate
Is Under-Qualified...

1. On the very first question of the debate, he attempts to use a
LIFELINE.

I don't know where you found this, but I like it. :)

Give credit to wherever/whomever created it.

-WC-

I liked it as well, where did you see that at?

i got it in an e-mail from an old friend, thought you would like it

Five presidents are on a plane: George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, George W. Bush, and Bill Clinton. George Washington says, "I will make someone happy!" and throws a dollar bill off the plane.
Then Abraham Lincoln says, "I will make five people happy!" and throws 5 one dollar bills off the plane.

Then Thomas Jefferson says, "I will make 500 people happy!" and throws 500 one dollar bills off the plane.

Then George W. Bush says, "I will make the whole world happy!" and throws Bill Clinton off the plane.

hm, the second one is kinda sad...
this one is a little longer. I think it's hilarious :D :D :D

Jokes about George Bush, Hu and Kofi. This taped
conversation in the Oval Office between George Bush
and his National Security Adviser, Condeleeza (Condi)
Rice has been leaked to the Washington Post:

George: Condi! Nice to see you. What's happening?
Condi: Sir, I have the report here about the new
leader of China.

George: Great. Lay it on me.
Condi: Hu is the new leader of China.

George: That's what I want to know.
Condi: That's what I'm telling you.

George: That's what I'm asking you. Who is the new
leader of China?
Condi: Yes.

George: I mean the fellow's name.
Condi: Hu.

George: The guy in China.
Condi: Hu.

George: The new leader of China.
Condi: Hu.

George: The Chinaman!
Condi: Hu is leading China.

George: Now whaddya' asking me for?
Condi: I'm telling you Hu is leading China.

George: Well, I'm asking you. Who is leading China?
Condi: That's the man's name.

George: That's who's name?
Condi: Yes.

George: Will you or will you not tell me the name of
the new leader of China?
Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir? Yassir Arafat is in China? I thought
he was in the Middle East.
Condi: That's correct.

George: Then who is in China?
Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir is in China?
Condi: No, sir.

George: Then who is?
Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Yassir?
Condi: No, sir.

George: Look, Condi. I need to know the name of the
new leader of China. Get me the Secretary General of
the U.N. on the phone.
Condi: Kofi?

George: No, thanks.
Condi: You want Kofi?

George: No.
Condi: You don't want Kofi.

George: No. But now that you mention it, I could use a
glass of milk. And then get me the U.N.
Condi: Yes, sir.

George: Not Yassir! The guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi?

George: Milk! Will you please make the call?
Condi: And call who?

George: Who is the guy at the U.N?
Condi: Hu is the guy in China.

George: Will you stay out of China?!
Condi: Yes, sir.

George: And stay out of the Middle East! Just get me
the guy at the U.N.
Condi: Kofi.

George: All right! With cream and two sugars. Now get
on the phone.

(Condi picks up the phone.)
Condi: Rice, here.
George: Rice? Good idea. And a couple of egg rolls,
too. Maybe we should send some to the guy in China.
And the Middle East. Can you get Chinese food in the
Middle East?

hey that was good. do u think u could send that to me?

You know what I find amusing?

"It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency." - George W. Bush, June 14, 2001, speaking to Swedish Prime minister Goran Persson, unaware that a live television camera was still rolling.

And the fact that not a single American is doing anything against this corruption! It is your DUTY to rebel against your government after a time of suppresion, and that's what this is!

Originally posted by HomoUniversalis
You know what I find amusing?

"It's amazing I won. I was running against peace, prosperity, and incumbency." - George W. Bush, June 14, 2001, speaking to Swedish Prime minister Goran Persson, unaware that a live television camera was still rolling.


yeah I like that one. I read it in Michael Moore's Stupid White Men - it's a bestseller here and I love Michael Moore.

HomoUniversalis, I think I speak for all Americans when I say, "Let somebody else deal with it". Not that I agree with his entire agenda, hell, I don't even like him, not even after September 11th. But we Americans are selfish and lazy, it's not the 60's for us anymore. The older generation has put in their time and has more money, the younger generation doesn't believe in causes, just in what music artist is hip today and what sexy clothes to wear to attract a mate. I know that I am saying generic stereotypes, but it takes the masses to change something. The media is controlling everything, everyone has ADD and has to watch television rather than do something worthwhile. That's the masses, too bad there aren't more Micheal Moores out there.

Originally posted by Judge Dredd
Five presidents are on a plane: George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Thomas Jefferson, George W. Bush, and Bill Clinton. George Washington says, "I will make someone happy!" and throws a dollar bill off the plane.
Then Abraham Lincoln says, "I will make five people happy!" and throws 5 one dollar bills off the plane.

Then Thomas Jefferson says, "I will make 500 people happy!" and throws 500 one dollar bills off the plane.

Then George W. Bush says, "I will make the whole world happy!" and throws Bill Clinton off the plane.

This is SOOO FUNNY!!!!....:) :)

Dear Valasher, what you say is poison to my heart! Are you not Americans? Do you not praise Freedom above all! You have been fooled by a corrupt government, that changes nothing. You are being force into choosing between two evils.

It is not only your RIGHT, but also your DUTY to rebel after a time of oppresion. I say, Michael Moore for president!

How's that for a presidential joke?

all i can say is...FUNNY!

funny, maybe. I'd wish it was trough though. I like it when people tell the truth, even when they are famous. That seems to be a rare quality in people these days, honesty.

I just hope that one day, in my generation a new rule will come, a more perfected one than the corrupted democracy we are currently witnessing.

Originally posted by HomoUniversalis

I say, Michael Moore for president!



Agreed:)