Hitman
Another idea whose time has come. Star Trek, MM style!
By Swampy and Hitman
(Swampy):
“The Interweb, the final front ear. Why front no one knows, but the back ear just doesn’t sound right…anyways the final front ear, these are the voyages of the star station Viagra. Its ongoing mission, to keep the fleet up, to seek out new wives and new methods of contraception. To boldly bone where no man has boned before”
Captains Log Supplemental
Stardate 3.1415927
“We have just docked at the Space Station Viagra, for some much need crew rest and maintenance before we head through the stable asshole into the Stunna Quadrant. Starforce have issued us with orders to explore deep into the quadrant looking for new trading opportunities and much pussy. Its been a long time since I slept with a green woman and Uhura’s not so keen on dressing up as she once was.”
Captain Alex T. Kirk shut down his console and headed out of his quarters, the brightly lit beige corridors and grey carpet still reminded him of the cheesy sci-fi he’d watched on his parents vidi projector many years before. ‘That was some crazy shit’ he thought as he wandered over to the turbo lift, ‘you could even see the strings on the top of the ship, or the guys black glove move when they went to warp.’ Technology sure had moved on, even if the set designers of the 23rd century were now the interior designers of the 24th
“Bridge.” The lift roared upwards, the slight delay before the inertial dampeners kicked in still caught him off guard sometimes when he was heading back from ‘10 Forward’ after a night of drinking and frivolity. The doors opened behind the Tactical station, currently vacant, and he headed round to his seat in the centre of the bridge.
“Craptain on the Bridge”
“Thank you Mr. HUData, report”
“Docking procedures completed, Mr Checkov has performed admirably sir.”
“Well done ensign.” Nate Chekov was on his first mission and so far seemed to be a very handy addition to the crew.
“Thank you Craptain”
“One other thing Craptain, Commander Sisko has organized a reception in the stations bar at 1900 hours. He’s invited the officers and crew to join them.”
“Well, Mr. HUData those Bajoran women are pretty cute, send the commander a message in the affirmative and break out my best aftershave. Also please ask the ships barber to come to my ready room.”
“Aye craptain.”
(Hitman):
Meanwhile, Commander Hit Sisco sat in his ready room on Viagra Station, overlooking the plans for the reception. The door signaled. “Come,” he said solemnly. The door slid open, and Counselor Stacey Troi and Major Niva Kira entered. “Commander, everything is ready for the reception tonight. The Enterthighs is docking as we speak, and her crew is unloading now,” Counselor Stacey said, “and…Commander…my eyes are up here.” Commander Hit raised his head a notch, no longer looking at her low cut uniform and instead paying attention to what she was saying. “Good, good. Thank you for the update. It’ll be good to say Craptain Al Kirk again. Let me ask you a question, Counselor Stacey…why is your uniform the only one in StarForce that looks like THAT?” She raised an eyebrow and said, “Why, what do you mean?” Commander Hit looked her up and down and sighed, “Never mind. Although I do think the sexy female officers aboard should adopt the same uniform…” Major Niva rolled her eyes and muttered, “Yeah, I bet you’d LOVE that, Commander.” He smirked, “Yes, Major, actually I would.”
The com signaled just then. “Commander, we have another ship docking. It’s the Voyag…er, the Voyeur…” Commander Hit grinned, “Excellent…more partygoers. MMM, and that MORG girl, 60 of 9…Even better….” He began to drool a bit, thinking of her skintight outfit, impossibly tight as it is…so tight that it shows belly button lint. “Oh damn, he’s fantasizing again. This could be awhile,” Major Niva muttered. They walked out, and Commander Hit watched their form fitting uniforms sashay out of the room. "It's gonna be a good night...a good night indeed...let's just hope the minions of the Dominatrix leave us alone for one night..."
By Swampy and Hitman
(Swampy):
“The Interweb, the final front ear. Why front no one knows, but the back ear just doesn’t sound right…anyways the final front ear, these are the voyages of the star station Viagra. Its ongoing mission, to keep the fleet up, to seek out new wives and new methods of contraception. To boldly bone where no man has boned before”
Captains Log Supplemental
Stardate 3.1415927
“We have just docked at the Space Station Viagra, for some much need crew rest and maintenance before we head through the stable asshole into the Stunna Quadrant. Starforce have issued us with orders to explore deep into the quadrant looking for new trading opportunities and much pussy. Its been a long time since I slept with a green woman and Uhura’s not so keen on dressing up as she once was.”
Captain Alex T. Kirk shut down his console and headed out of his quarters, the brightly lit beige corridors and grey carpet still reminded him of the cheesy sci-fi he’d watched on his parents vidi projector many years before. ‘That was some crazy shit’ he thought as he wandered over to the turbo lift, ‘you could even see the strings on the top of the ship, or the guys black glove move when they went to warp.’ Technology sure had moved on, even if the set designers of the 23rd century were now the interior designers of the 24th
“Bridge.” The lift roared upwards, the slight delay before the inertial dampeners kicked in still caught him off guard sometimes when he was heading back from ‘10 Forward’ after a night of drinking and frivolity. The doors opened behind the Tactical station, currently vacant, and he headed round to his seat in the centre of the bridge.
“Craptain on the Bridge”
“Thank you Mr. HUData, report”
“Docking procedures completed, Mr Checkov has performed admirably sir.”
“Well done ensign.” Nate Chekov was on his first mission and so far seemed to be a very handy addition to the crew.
“Thank you Craptain”
“One other thing Craptain, Commander Sisko has organized a reception in the stations bar at 1900 hours. He’s invited the officers and crew to join them.”
“Well, Mr. HUData those Bajoran women are pretty cute, send the commander a message in the affirmative and break out my best aftershave. Also please ask the ships barber to come to my ready room.”
“Aye craptain.”
(Hitman):
Meanwhile, Commander Hit Sisco sat in his ready room on Viagra Station, overlooking the plans for the reception. The door signaled. “Come,” he said solemnly. The door slid open, and Counselor Stacey Troi and Major Niva Kira entered. “Commander, everything is ready for the reception tonight. The Enterthighs is docking as we speak, and her crew is unloading now,” Counselor Stacey said, “and…Commander…my eyes are up here.” Commander Hit raised his head a notch, no longer looking at her low cut uniform and instead paying attention to what she was saying. “Good, good. Thank you for the update. It’ll be good to say Craptain Al Kirk again. Let me ask you a question, Counselor Stacey…why is your uniform the only one in StarForce that looks like THAT?” She raised an eyebrow and said, “Why, what do you mean?” Commander Hit looked her up and down and sighed, “Never mind. Although I do think the sexy female officers aboard should adopt the same uniform…” Major Niva rolled her eyes and muttered, “Yeah, I bet you’d LOVE that, Commander.” He smirked, “Yes, Major, actually I would.”
The com signaled just then. “Commander, we have another ship docking. It’s the Voyag…er, the Voyeur…” Commander Hit grinned, “Excellent…more partygoers. MMM, and that MORG girl, 60 of 9…Even better….” He began to drool a bit, thinking of her skintight outfit, impossibly tight as it is…so tight that it shows belly button lint. “Oh damn, he’s fantasizing again. This could be awhile,” Major Niva muttered. They walked out, and Commander Hit watched their form fitting uniforms sashay out of the room. "It's gonna be a good night...a good night indeed...let's just hope the minions of the Dominatrix leave us alone for one night..."