About a week ago my aunt died, and for the millionth time my thoughts are swirling with death. Someone said to me regarding "at least she's in a better place now", ive been thinking about that statement ever since. At present moment my standings as an agnostic kinda weirds me up (not the best choice of words), and for the first time im terrified of my own mortality. I guess whats weird for me is that this isnt the first time ive delt with death before, two of my other aunts, an uncle,a grandmother, even the love of my life. Maybe im older, a tad less chaotic inside to finally realise im human just like everyone else.
First of all, I'm sorry.
Fear of mortality is perfectly normal after a loved one dies. I know this wont help right now, but there is no point in being afraid of death. It happens to each and every one of us sometime.
also, i am sorry for your loss.
i have wondered what you have wondered, when my grandpa died two years ago. i wondered what purpose do we have in life, if we are born, we live, then we die. what purpose do we have if we just die. but i then later decided to believe, that our purpose, or should i say my purpose, is to live day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute, and try to survive the obstacles of life. during the time of survival, i shall learn and adapt to the world as it is shown to me from experience. i could explain more but it is very complicated to explain my feelings and thoughts. but anyways, stay with your beliefs, always know, that mortality is meant to be lived.
Sykoe put it very nicely.
I too was confronted with death when a loved one died. The answer my parents gave wasn't very comforting too. I used to spend nights wondering about the condition I would be in in my final moments, feeling my lungs stop and my consciousness fade away even as I resist. I still do, sometimes.
I guess this is one time my asian heritage doesn't offer me the better answer. I believe now that how you've lived is more important than what you leave behind: it might comfort you that if there is no meaning to be given to you (religion helps with that), it's up to you to find one, no matter how long and no matter how weird. Hey: the rules are in your hands. Just remember: others have lived lesser lives.
*EDIT*
Oh, and one more: watch Star Trek. :D Serious! At least 'Generations'.