If you ran for president

If you were going to run for president right now, what would your party name be and what would some of your policies be?

I'd be the birthday party and we'd promise free cake to all

the block party:

declare war on poverty, hunger, and starvation
free cable and broadband internet
jello for dessert on wednesday nights
legalize marijuana
improve and lower the cost of a quality education
promote peace, love, and unity among all nations

'The Social Party'

The US has a lot of problems, and it is impossible to address them in a simplified version of reality. Our four years will not be filled with popularistic decisions, but with finding the right people to get engaged in politics and share their professional oppinions, and do the best thing for the US.

What does this mean? We will actively engage in going to the experts, going to the people who know the US economy best, and asking them for advise. We should not remain restricted to our bureacratic machinery, instead we should try to get as much input as possible.

This will make sure that the policy we engineer through these four years will be optimal, and will be accurate. We will not give tax-brakes to corporations when this will result to major loss of jobs. We will not make short-term decisions, but rather set up a new way of politics, a new tradition in which the people, the people who are not active in politics, but are active in the economy are involved.

I will not open a war on poverty, hunger and starvation. These are over-simplifications. I can not promise you that tomorrow, or even in three years, the bums of the US will have a filled table in front of themselves. Economy is not that simple. What I can promise, however, is that we will improve the economy to such a level that the children of those bums, and that the children of each American, born on American soil or abroad will not have to worry about food.

We are too focused about right now, about what happens right now, in our system of government, we are so focused on keeping our Washington DC jobs, that we fear of making impopular decisions that will mean a long-term increase of the quality of life.

I will not be a president for four years. I will be a president for life, and I will give your children something to hope for.

Mr U

The "BYO" Party

Under my plan, the vast majority of handouts would cease. No longer would the government take money away from people who earned it through hard work, just to turn around and give it to a woman that cannot work because she got knocked up by six different guys for eight different kids and none of the fathers are around because they are crack addicts. Under my plan, people would become independent, rather than dependent upon their government. People would learn responsibility and accountability. People would learn that their actions have consequences. I'm sure that some will feel this is a cold-hearted plan, but I assure you it is not. It is a plan to prevent the citizens of the US from becoming spoiled brats. It is a plan that calls for tough-love, like a mother bird pushing her babies out of the nest when it is time to fly, rather than the constant coddling one would witness from a thirty five year old man that still lives in his parents' basement because he is too afraid, lazy, dependent, etc. (take your pick) to journey out onto his own.

Under the BYO party, people would need to use their god-given resources, otherwise they will find themselves in the corner and empty-handed while the others are gathered around the dance floor, eating, drinking, and being merry.