Caption Contest

I've seen a couple threads like this in other forums and have decided it's time MM gets it's own caption contest going. Here's the deal: I'll post a random picture I find off the internet every week or two and you guys come up with some captions. Only one caption can be submitted per person, so pick the best one you can come up with. At the end of the week I'll pick the best caption and whoever submitted it will get a prize... Or something like that... We'll, you'll at least get your name and caption under the picture in a master caption thread. If a mod or anyone can come up with a better prize, shout it out.

Here's the first picture:

Man: "I'll buy everything if you come inside and gimme a gum job."

"No thanks, I don't need any crazy today."

Lol...

"...Well, I'm a Scout....and I have cookies.....that's two-thirds the whole phrase?"

"ffs gran, how many times do I have to tell you. You don't work the cross anymore."

"I heard about you on the news today: Crazy old woman dressed as a scout might try and sell you cookies. Do not buy."

Old Person: Yes hello Sir, I am here with the Great, Great, Great Grandma Scouts and we are trying to raise money to help keep us alive.

Guy: Damn those cookies as old as you? I sure hope not.

"Listen. I already told the last A.A.R.P. fund-raising representative that I don't let strangers use my bathroom, not even for a box of free cookies."

LMAO at AlmightyOne!

not sure what you mean there Valasher could you evaluate for me please not sure what LMAO means. "thanx."

LMAO is internet lingo for "Laughing my ass off." Got some good quotes people, let's keep them coming!

"Well I geuss I'll take your cookies, and well maybe even your cherry...:flirt: .....

Granma: wanna buy some cookie's ? there good and sweet
man: GRANDMA ! you 86 years old goddamnit, your not a girl scout anymore.

I win.

lmao indeed...some truly original ones...here's another I just came up with!

"...And you say you've been doing this for how long?"

Originally posted by MacLeod
lmao indeed...some truly original ones...here's another I just came up with!

"...And you say you've been doing this for how long?"

Sorry to say MacLeod but you are only alowed to have one in this Caption so you must pick the one you like the best and get rid of the other. TINM thread rules.

No big deal, just edit your FIRST post with whatever new caption you want and I'll except it. I don't care if you post extra captions, just make sure that your official one is either clearly marked or is your first caption posted. Also, don't post or edit your post with a copycat caption - If the main idea behind your caption is already up here, just come up with something new. We haven't had any problems with this, but I figure I should mention it anyway.

A lot of good captions here... Dare I reveal who's in the lead?

"Illuminati disguise mind-controlling aliens as grannies, whom spread the embryonal puppet-masters in the form of cookies"

Mr U

When this thread is ready for a vote, I can post a poll from the first post, so let me know when it's ended and then we can vote.

Hmmm. I had no idea this was actually official. Terribly sorry then; I'll put my second one up as the official entry...I don't think I need to go edit and delete and all that. ;)

It is officially for fun.

Alright folks it's voting time - Since the poll option won't work, you're going to have to send me your vote in a PM. Just send me the name of your pick and in a day or two the winner will be revealed. Vote for the best quote - Don't vote solely on the fact that you submitted it ;).

The Contestants

1. "I'll buy everything if you come inside and gimme a gum job." - DPD (2 Vote)

2. "No thanks, I don't need any crazy today." - Valasher

3. "ffs gran, how many times do I have to tell you. You don't work the cross anymore." - UltimateTrinity (1 Vote)

4. "I heard about you on the news today: Crazy old woman dressed as a scout might try and sell you cookies. Do not buy." - NMN

5. "Old Person: Yes hello Sir, I am here with the Great, Great, Great Grandma Scouts and we are trying to raise money to help keep us alive.

Guy: Damn those cookies as old as you? I sure hope not." - AlmightyOne (1 Vote)

6. "Listen. I already told the last A.A.R.P. fund-raising representative that I don't let strangers use my bathroom, not even for a box of free cookies." - Anomolous

7. "Well I geuss I'll take your cookies, and well maybe even your cherry..." - The Architect

8. "Grandma: alright sonnie boy, i'm bombed. so you either buy the cookie's. or i will blow us both up!"- Freddy Krueger (1 vote)

9. "...And you say you've been doing this for how long?" - Macleod (2 Vote)

10. "Illuminati disguise mind-controlling aliens as grannies, whom spread the embryonal puppet-masters in the form of cookies" - HomoUniversalis

11. "If you eat all the crumbs, I'll let you lick my cobwebs..." - Ou Be Low hoo

PM me your votes - Anyone can vote but no new captions can officially be submitted for this picture.

Where the hell do we vote? *UT looks around room*

Ok, am I getting old here or am I missing something? Arrrrggg well I vote for DPDs anyway. Can someone count please!?:)

Ok, UT, take it slow, there you go, that's it, now watch your step, there you go, oh its a big girl chair. Now we are going have a seat and look at this funny little thing:

you're going to have to send me your vote in a PM.

TINM said that right above you. LOL.

Originally posted by NMN
Ok, UT, take it slow, there you go, that's it, now watch your step, there you go, oh its a big girl chair. Now we are going have a seat and look at this funny little thing:



TINM said that right above you. LOL. Damnit! LMAO. You're right again...as usual....

We all have our senior moments UT ;).

Hmm, 11 participants in this thread... 10 quotes... 3 votes. Sounds like providence... Er, wait, no - Sounds more like a lack of participation in voting. Come on and cast yer ballots guys! Don't make me go all fascist dictator on this thread and pick the best quote myself.

"If you eat all the crumbs, I'll let you lick my cobwebs..."

Lol, Ou Be... I know I said no more captions will be accepted, but that one was too good to leave out. Come on people, PM me or post your vote here... We have a four way tie right now.

If you haven't tallied it already, I'm voting for my own caption, and not just because I submitted it.

How about a little diplomacy here, DPD? I'll vote for you if you vote for me...? Deal-io?

How about we let me win and I concede victory to you. Crowns don't look good on me, anyway.

Lol @ DPD.

I'll vote for Mac's

hey if possible, i wanna change the one i made. i got a better one

change it to this (please :) )

Grandma: alright sonnie boy, i'm bombed. so you either buy the cookie's. or i will blow us both up !

That one is better freddy. Count my vote TINM for freddy's...

I've been neglecting this thread for a while, time to pick things up again. The winner for this pic has been unveiled over here. (http://www.matrixmania.com/showthread.php?threadid=11193)

Our next picture is my most favorite pic from Ebaums World... I'm sure we'll get some hillarious quotes with this:

Replaced
Walmart...where "Everything" is low price always.:flirt:

All bagged up to go. U wanna double it, or leave it single???

"B-but you said I looked like a sexy beast in plastic!"

oldman: damn i'm sexy
*music begins* give it to me baby, uhuh :p

After drastic decrease of sales of ammunition, following Moore's anti-Weapon campaign, Wal-Mart has taken drastic measures in getting out of the red.

Mr U

Hmmm.....sorry, this is too culture-specific to me...
...But hey, I made it to the runners-up! Whoopee! :D

"My costume may be plastic,
And I may look jurassic,
But batty boyz love my look
Cos I've hidden my dicky-cock,
It's stuck up my arse,
If you really have to ask...WORD."

Can I answer a picture with a picture?

Originally posted by DPD
Can I answer a picture with a picture?


lol haha

Lol these are all great - That pic does justice for the caption lol. Let's hear some more.

In a landmark decision to add more flair to the door-greeting staff, not to mention scaring little children and nauseating the public, Wal*Mart implements uniform changes along with the discontinuation of the smiley stickers.

Old man: ''I like to keep my style updated"
Spectator: ''By wearing a plastic bag?"
Old man:''Please, I can totally see that your jelouse..:) "
Spectator: ''ITS A PLASTIC BAG DAMMIT".....

I want to replace my first one with this one TINM:

News reporter: A San Diego Wal-Mart stoor is now going out of business because of this man who claims he was the new mascot of Wal-Mart but all he did was drive people away, and cause many complaints. Now this man along with the Wal-Mart industries are going to court today to decide what shall be done with the man besides putting some clothes on.

Lol excellent quotes, I think tomorrow we'll pick a winner.

Originally posted by ThereIsNoMatrix
Lol excellent quotes, I think tomorrow we'll pick a winner.

If I don't win it'll be a tragedy of biblical proportions.

Originally posted by Ou Be Low hoo
If I don't win it'll be a tragedy of biblical proportions.

just live with it :p

THIS WEEK AT WALMART, FREE HOME DELIVERED ELDERLY MAN-LOVIN WHEN YOU SPEND *$1OO OR MORE ON SELECTED ITEMS!

*ONLY APLLICABLE FOR LADIES OVER 80 AND ITEMS ARE DENTURE SOAK, DEPENDS UNDERGARMENTS AND MAGIC ZIMMER SPEED LUBE.

Lol, nice one UT. Alrighty, it's voting time.

The List

- AlmightOne - "News reporter: A San Diego Wal-Mart stoor is now going out of business because of this man who claims he was the new mascot of Wal-Mart but all he did was drive people away, and cause many complaints. Now this man along with the Wal-Mart industries are going to court today to decide what shall be done with the man besides putting some clothes on."

- Niva - "All bagged up to go. U wanna double it, or leave it single???" (1 Vote)

- Kara - "B-but you said I looked like a sexy beast in plastic!"

- FreddyKrueger - "oldman: damn i'm sexy. *music begins - give it to me baby, uhuh.*"

- HomoUniversalis - "After drastic decrease of sales of ammunition, following Moore's anti-Weapon campaign, Wal-Mart has taken drastic measures in getting out of the red."

- Ou Be Low hoo - "My costume may be plastic,
And I may look jurassic,
But batty boyz love my look
Cos I've hidden my dicky-cock,
It's stuck up my arse,
If you really have to ask...WORD." (1 Vote)

- DPD - This picture. (http://www.matrixmania.com/attachment.php?postid=145716) (1 Vote)

- Anomolous - "In a landmark decision to add more flair to the door-greeting staff, not to mention scaring little children and nauseating the public, Wal*Mart implements uniform changes along with the discontinuation of the smiley stickers."

- tHe aRcHeItEcT - "Old man: ''I like to keep my style updated"
Spectator: ''By wearing a plastic bag?"
Old man:''Please, I can totally see that your jelouse.. "
Spectator: ''ITS A PLASTIC BAG DAMMIT"..... "

- UltimateTrinity - "THIS WEEK AT WALMART, FREE HOME DELIVERED ELDERLY MAN-LOVIN WHEN YOU SPEND *$1OO OR MORE ON SELECTED ITEMS!

*ONLY APLLICABLE FOR LADIES OVER 80 AND ITEMS ARE DENTURE SOAK, DEPENDS UNDERGARMENTS AND MAGIC ZIMMER SPEED LUBE." (2 Vote)

_____

My vote goes to DPD's pic. Post your vote here or PM it to me.

LOL too easy mate. I'm going for Ou Be Low hoo this time around.

The Magic Zimmer Speed Lube cracked me up. One vote for UT!

Mr U

my vote goes to UT :D

This isn't mine, it's Niva's. vvvvvvvvvv
Originally posted by ThereIsNoMatrix

"All bagged up to go. U wanna double it, or leave it single???"

Give my vote to Niva that one made me laugh.lol

Originally posted by Kara
This isn't mine, it's Niva's. vvvvvvvvvv

Crap, I'm sorry Kara! I must have gotten all discombobulated with the myriad of quotes... Your correct one is up there now :D

Alrighty, this rounds over... You can find the results over here. (http://www.matrixmania.com/showthread.php?threadid=11193)

New picture:

that will teach you, not to fart when i'm around !

Washington police declared earlier today that the 'washington sniper' escaped from prison, and was seen on an la guardia airport one hour later. The current whereabouts of the sniper are unknown. More on this later.

Mr U

"Queens dress ripped off by fence"

''Damn suck-ups, when will they learn that kissing the ground I walk on aint going to give them a promotion!!".......

"Horse flatulence: Deadly? I think yes."

Guy on Horse: Hey you get up...dont ever let me catch you sleeping on the job again!
Guy laying down: I wasn't sleeping iam just drunk and had to lay down for a while.(pukes)

Lol, these are all great. I love HU's and NMN's!

'THE QUEEN WAS FORCED TODAY BY HER HUSBAND, THE DUKE, TO STOP DRESSING HER CORGIS IN GUARDSMANS UNIFORMS. 'THE POOR BASTARDS LEGS AREN'T BUILT FOR THE UPRIGHT POSITION', SAYS PALACE SPOKESMAN DUANE DIBBLEY.

The guy laying down: BLOODY HELL the Queen is going to have my nickers over this...

Heeeeyyyy....Wooowww! Hey guys, those two big clouds up there, in the sky, look like a pair o' boobies!!!

Ok I am already going to give my vote for this picture and it is going to Anomolous. God that made me almost piss my pants from laughing so hard.lol

LMAO. I'm with AO on this on lol. Definately Anomolous.

Lol, guess I'll get the vote going later today.

Holy crappers, UT! Awesome quote in your sig! Doesn't anyone notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!

You know what could really help you sort through all of these important issues?

ORANGE MOCHA FRAPPUCINO!!!! :D

Angry because of tax raises and pay cuts he turned around and yelled, "your mother's a hag!", not knowing that prince charles was behind im. Diana took matters into her own hands

LOL. Nice one NS ;) I think you'd better start the voting soon here TINM.

Right right, here we go:

The Contestants

- Freddy Krueger - "That will teach you, not to fart when i'm around!"

- HomoUniversalis - "Washington police declared earlier today that the 'washington sniper' escaped from prison, and was seen on an la guardia airport one hour later. The current whereabouts of the sniper are unknown. More on this later." (1 Vote)

- Horatio - "Queens dress ripped off by fence."

- tHe aRcHeItEcT - ''Damn suck-ups, when will they learn that kissing the ground I walk on aint going to give them a promotion!!"

- NMN - "Horse flatulence: Deadly? I think yes." (1 Vote)

- AlmightyOne - "Guy on Horse: Hey you get up...dont ever let me catch you sleeping on the job again!
Guy laying down: I wasn't sleeping iam just drunk and had to lay down for a while.(pukes)"

- UltimateTrinity - "THE QUEEN WAS FORCED TODAY BY HER HUSBAND, THE DUKE, TO STOP DRESSING HER CORGIS IN GUARDSMANS UNIFORMS. 'THE POOR BASTARDS LEGS AREN'T BUILT FOR THE UPRIGHT POSITION', SAYS PALACE SPOKESMAN DUANE DIBBLEY."

- Niva - "The guy laying down: BLOODY HELL the Queen is going to have my nickers over this..."

- Anomolous - "Heeeeyyyy....Wooowww! Hey guys, those two big clouds up there, in the sky, look like a pair o' boobies!!!" (4 Votes)

- neos scrotum - "Angry because of tax raises and pay cuts he turned around and yelled, "your mother's a hag!", not knowing that prince charles was behind im. Diana took matters into her own hands"

_________________________________

I was split between HU's hillarious news report, and NMN's short and comical line... My vote goes to NMN this round.

I am for Anomolous.

I do believe Anomolous is going to get this one seeing as UT, NMN and I used our vote for him, and I am sure more will to. Nice going Anomolous that one knocks them all outta the park.

Yea, Anomolous has my vote also.

Originally posted by AlmightyOne
I do believe Anomolous is going to get this one seeing as UT, NMN and I used our vote for him, and I am sure more will to. Nice going Anomolous that one knocks them all outta the park.

Thank you.

my vote goes to HU's one :D

View the winners and claim your prizes here. (http://www.matrixmania.com/showthread.php?postid=145581#post145581)

New picture:

police, have shown there new way of transportation to catch criminals this morning. the new super deluxe potty bike, can let officers speed off even when there busy taking a piss

:p

HA. Nice one FK. Let's see toilet humor...

Oh damn, everytime I see that pic I think of someone I know HAHA. Ok got to stop laughing here....No sorry I can't LOL. I'm gone..I've got to sit out of this one for the time being as this other image keeps popping in my head.:D

A myserious developer going by the alias of 'Q', posted a message on hundreds of message boards and blog sites that the latest spy-gadget, quote: 'as used by real MI6 employees', is avaible to the public, and can be purchased on e-bay. A spokesman of e-bay said that the many purchases of the already legendary 'T-mobile' had increased the site's traffic by .02 percent.

Mr U

"Have the runs??? Keep u from exercising??? Always running to the bathroom??? That now can stop, get Tiolet On The Go. U can use the tiolet while ur out getting freash air.
Experience Tiolet On The Go, u can go anywhere..."

Have you ever been kicked out of your car due to uncontrolable circumstances? Well know you can keep up with the family, while doing your business on the road.

disclaime: we are not responsible for the public nudity lawsuits, or the littering fines that can and will be given with this vehicle

"Shit and Go" is the new line of vehicles intoduced by Fnord.

Note the cooler in place of the tank. You can store beer for drinking and driving, while dropping off the kids at the pool while you're on the run. It's GENIUS!

*note* this is not a caption submission, just an observation and comment

Lol, hillarious stuff so far!

I didn't notice the cooler there... That's ingenious! There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to climb out of the thing, you have all the essentials right there. I know I'd buy one.

Do you like to go places and see the site's, but are limited to it becuase of your bathroom problems. No worries for having to buy expensive pills or liquids as now you have the toilet and the ride right here with you. The toilet express is being sold world wide and comes in many different colors, and for a little bit extra on the price you can get a curtain to stop you from showing parts of your body you dont want seen. So keep up with the trips and dont let your stomach controll you. Call 1800-TOILET ON THE GO.

Yes, its the first mass produced methane powered vehicle featuring revolutionary shit-as-you-go technology! Buy now! Only $6000

Originally posted by Haxxor
"Shit and Go" is the new line of vehicles intoduced by Fnord.

OMFG. This is pure gold. HA. Cuts the crap and to the point (pardon the pun). lol

Niva, honey yours was also a classic. Hell they're all good however this time I'm locking in my vote with Hax.

Going on a long trip? Introducing the all new potty-on-wheels.

The Honda SHT-No. 2 "Pooter Scooter":
Ride It!,....
Love It!,....
Poop It!

"And this just in. The U.S. Military has invented a new type of vehicle, which we are currently calling a potty-mobile. This revolutionary vehicle is said to run on human waste and will make gas prices drop dramatically in an effort to keep people from making the switch to this new vehicle when it becomes available to the public in 2040."

Originally posted by Anomolous
The Honda SHT-No. 2 "Pooter Scooter":
Ride It!,....
Love It!,....
Poop It!

HA. There is something to be said about 'Less is More'. Funny Anomolous. LOL

Once again my vote is going to the funny Anomolous. Nice work there short but good.:up:

Scoreboard

- Freddy Krueger - "police, have shown there new way of transportation to catch criminals this morning. the new super deluxe potty bike, can let officers speed off even when there busy taking a piss"

- HomoUniversalis - "A myserious developer going by the alias of 'Q', posted a message on hundreds of message boards and blog sites that the latest spy-gadget, quote: 'as used by real MI6 employees', is avaible to the public, and can be purchased on e-bay. A spokesman of e-bay said that the many purchases of the already legendary 'T-mobile' had increased the site's traffic by .02 percent." (1 Vote)

- Niva - "Have the runs??? Keep u from exercising??? Always running to the bathroom??? That now can stop, get Tiolet On The Go. U can use the tiolet while ur out getting freash air.
Experience Tiolet On The Go, u can go anywhere..."

- Neo's Scrotum - "Have you ever been kicked out of your car due to uncontrolable circumstances? Well know you can keep up with the family, while doing your business on the road. (1 Vote)

disclaime: we are not responsible for the public nudity lawsuits, or the littering fines that can and will be given with this vehicle"

- Haxxor - " "Shit and Go" is the new line of vehicles intoduced by Fnord." (1 Vote)

- AlmightyOne - "Do you like to go places and see the site's, but are limited to it becuase of your bathroom problems. No worries for having to buy expensive pills or liquids as now you have the toilet and the ride right here with you. The toilet express is being sold world wide and comes in many different colors, and for a little bit extra on the price you can get a curtain to stop you from showing parts of your body you dont want seen. So keep up with the trips and dont let your stomach controll you. Call 1800-TOILET ON THE GO."

- mazman - "Yes, its the first mass produced methane powered vehicle featuring revolutionary shit-as-you-go technology! Buy now! Only $6000"

- Eon - "Going on a long trip? Introducing the all new potty-on-wheels."

- Anomolous - "The Honda SHT-No. 2 "Pooter Scooter":
Ride It!,....
Love It!,....
Poop It!" (1 Vote)

- Valasher - "And this just in. The U.S. Military has invented a new type of vehicle, which we are currently calling a potty-mobile. This revolutionary vehicle is said to run on human waste and will make gas prices drop dramatically in an effort to keep people from making the switch to this new vehicle when it becomes available to the public in 2040."

______________________________

Once again, a rather tough decision to make. HU's, Valasher's, and Anomolous' were hillarious, but I have to go with... Haxxor.

I vote on myself :p (nah just kidding)
my vote goes to Haxxor :cop:

Bump. Only one reply? This is sad.

well what are the vote's so far TINM
:rolleyes:

I vote for Neo's Scrotum...

10 submissions and 3 votes - Sounds like providence... Or a lack of enthusiasm.

Ok, so who's the winner here? And when do we get another pic ?

:D

lol mabey someone else can or may post a picture. it's always TINM that posts the pics :p

Well TINM did start this game thou...
So I think it should be upto him if anyone should post a pic. What ya'll think???
I'm for anything, but it is respectful if we ask him before its done.

I agree. Come on TIMN, shake a tail feather here and get busy with another pic. Hurry man lol.

Thieves! Trying to steal my idear, eh? Post a picture to caption in my caption thread? You must truly be demented if you think you can get away with such treachery.

Nah, go ahead and post a picture, I honestly don't care. Have a ball.

As for this picture... I'm going fascist dictator on all your asses, due to the lack of participation in voting and the fact that we had a four-way tie. This isn't the presidential elections - You're vote really does count (or so you think...).

Winners and prizes! (http://www.matrixmania.com/showthread.php?threadid=11193)

_______________________

Here's the new pic:

Which way to the blue grass festival? I'm favourite for the most teeth competition.

oldguy: oooohhhh my precious !!!
grandson: GRANDPA, stop doing that stupid lord of the rings shit.

I'll give ya a Sweet Home...Alabama.

Have YOU seen my medicine? I dropped me brain medicine!!!!!

See what 30 years of growing crops does to ya...hell I don't even need a scare crow anymore. I also don't even eat but my teeth, and the two I have left are for lunch and dinner.

Advertiser: And there's more! We expanded our Halloween department by an unbelievable amount! We have several new masks, including a ghost Elvis, Gollum, the Dues Ex Machina, and a grotesque monster which--

Director: WHAT THE?!?!? GODAMMIT, CUT!!! YOU IDIOTS, YOU TAPED A FREAKIN' OLD GEEZER INSTEAD OF THE MONSTER MASK!!!

Camerman: Sorry sir, we thought that was the mask.

Advertiser: And there's more! We expanded our Halloween department by an unbelievable amount! We have several new masks, including a ghost Elvis, Gollum, the Dues Ex Machina, and a grotesque monster which--

Director: WHAT THE?!?!? GODAMMIT, CUT!!! YOU IDIOTS, YOU TAPED A FREAKIN' OLD GEEZER INSTEAD OF THE MONSTER MASK!!!

Camerman: Sorry sir, we thought that was the mask.

WOOT my vote goes to yours Kara

hey it's this only when i see it. but almost all of the smilie's don't work. i only see a red X

The List... Again

- Swampy - "Which way to the blue grass festival? I'm favourite for the most teeth competition." (1 Vote)

- Freddy Krueger - "oldguy: oooohhhh my precious !!!
grandson: GRANDPA, stop doing that stupid lord of the rings shit."

- DPD - "I'll give ya a Sweet Home...Alabama." (1 Vote)

- Anomolous - "Have YOU seen my medicine? I dropped me brain medicine!!!!!"

- AlmightyOne - "See what 30 years of growing crops does to ya...hell I don't even need a scare crow anymore. I also don't even eat but my teeth, and the two I have left are for lunch and dinner."

- Kara - "Advertiser: And there's more! We expanded our Halloween department by an unbelievable amount! We have several new masks, including a ghost Elvis, Gollum, the Dues Ex Machina, and a grotesque monster which--

Director: WHAT THE?!?!? GODAMMIT, CUT!!! YOU IDIOTS, YOU TAPED A FREAKIN' OLD GEEZER INSTEAD OF THE MONSTER MASK!!!

Camerman: Sorry sir, we thought that was the mask." (2 Votes)

______________________

DPD gets my vote!

I missed it. Oh well here goes my vote.
Kara gets it.
Camerman: Sorry sir, we thought that was the mask.

Which way to the blue grass festival? I'm favourite for the most teeth competition.

LMFAO. ^ That's my vote right there HA.