Quotable Quotes

not really inspired by anything but just post some cool quotes here

"Most people think life sucks and then you die, I disagree. I think life sucks then you get cancer, then you go into cemo therapy, loose all your hair, you feel bad about yourself, then all of a sudden the cancer goes into remission, you come out you look good, you feel good, your going great then all of a sudden you have a stroke and you cant move your right side, and one day you step of the curb at 68th and Lincoln center and BANG you get hit by a bus and then maybe you die." - Dennis Leary (one of the greatist comedians ever)


"I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with."
-Dennis Leary


Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend and inside of a god, it's too dark to read."
-Groucho Marx


"I like children - fried."
-W.C. Fields.


"I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?"
-Denis Leary

"Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn."
-Fulton Sheen.


"I thought I had a great idea today, but it never really took off. In fact, it didn't even get on the runway. I guess you could say it exploded in the hangar."
-Calvin and Hobbes

(and now for a serious quote)

I believe there is a place where the restless souls wander.
Burdened by the weight of their own sadness.
They wait for a chance to set the wrong things right.
Only then can they be reunited with the ones they love.
Sometimes a crow shows them the way.
Because sometimes love is stonger than death.
-Sara from The Crow city of angels

"The game of catch has never been so fun!"
- Inventor of the Hand Grenade

That Irate dennis leary quote is a hoot!

Some of my faves:


"They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist..."
-General John B. Sedgwick Last words, 1864

"I can resist everything but temptation."
-Oscar Wilde

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."
-Robert Frost

And the most profound:

"What luck for the rulers that men do not think."
-Adolf Hitler

"People travel to wonder at the height of the mountains, at the huge waves of the seas, at the long course of the rivers, at the vast compass of the ocean, at the circular motion of the stars, and yet they pass by themselves without wondering."
- St Augustine

"A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything, and the value of nothing."
- Oscar Wilde

"It was when I was happiest that I longed most... the sweetest thing in all my life has been the longing... to find the place where all the beauty came from."
- CS Lewis

"I thought you had a heart. I see now, you must have sold it to a pawnshop."
- CCTI :D

Instruction in world history in the so-called high schools is even today in a very sorry condition.
Few teachers understand that the study of history can never be to learn historical dates and events by heart and recite them by rote; that what matters is not whether the child knows exactly when this battle or that was fought, when a general was born, or even when a monarch (usually a very insignificant one) came into the crown of his forefathers.
No, by the living God, this is very unimportant.
To 'learn' history means to seek and find the forces which are the causes leading to those effects which we subsequently perceive as historical events.

Adolf Hitler- Mein Kampf

Your father must have spent the first year of your life throwing rocks at the stork. - Groucho Marx

Here are some more "controversial" quotes..

"Every anarchist is a baffled dictator"
Author: Benito Mussolini

"Socialism is a fraud, a comedy, a phantom, a blackmail."
Author: Benito Mussolini

"The best blood will at some time get into a fool or a mosquito."
Author: Benito Mussolini

"This is the epitaph I want on my tomb: "Here lies one of the most intelligent animals who ever appeared on the face of the earth"
Author: Benito Mussolini

"When we hang the capitalists they will sell us the rope"
Author: Joseph Stalin

"The people who cast the votes don't decide an election, the people who count the votes do."
Author: Joseph Stalin Contributor: Not Updated

"Education is a weapon, whose effect depends on who holds it in his hands and at whom it is aimed"
Author: Joseph Stalin

"If any foreign minister begins to defend to the death a "peace conference," you can be sure his government has already placed its orders for new battleships and airplanes."
Author: Joseph Stalin

"How fortunate for leaders that men do not think."
Author: Adolf Hitler

"Success is the sole earthly judge of right and wrong."
Author: Adolf Hitler

"I do not see why man should not be just as cruel as nature"
Author: Adolf Hitler

"The greater the lie, the greater the chance that it will be believed"
Author: Adolf Hitler

"Fascism is capitalism in decay"
Author: Vladimir Illyich 'Nikolai' Lenin

"Crime is a product of social excess"
Author: Vladimir Illyich 'Nikolai' Lenin

"History is a set of lies agreed upon."
Author: Napoleon Bonaparte

"In politics stupidity is not a handicap."
Author: Napoleon Bonaparte

"All religions have been made by men"
Author: Napoleon Bonaparte

"Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake."
Author: Napoleon Bonaparte

"He who fears being conquered is sure of defeat."
Author: Napoleon Bonaparte

Bonaparte with hitler, stalin and mussolini ?

that i found more shocking then the quotes, in all honnesty.

The great masses of the people... will more easily fall victims to a great lie than to a small one.
--Adolf Hitler

...obstacles do not exist to be surrendered to, but only to be broken.
--Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
--Joseph Stalin

this one used to be my sig

Men fear thought as they fear nothing else on earth -- more than ruin -- more even than death.... Thought is subversive and revolutionary, destructive and terrible, thought is merciless to privilege, established institutions, and comfortable habit. Thought looks into the pit of hell and is not afraid. Thought is great and swift and free, the light of the world, and the chief glory of man.
--Bertrand Russell

There is nobody so irritating as somebody with less intelligence and more sense than we have.
--Don Herold

There is no such thing as an underestimate of average intelligence.
--Henry Adams

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
--Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former.
--Albert Einstein lol

We hate some persons because we do not know them; and we will not know them because we hate them.
--Charles Caleb Colton

The way to win an atomic war is to make certain it never starts.
--Omar Bradley

Either war is obsolete or men are.
--R. Buckminster Fuller

Wars teach us not to love our enemies, but to hate our allies.
--W. L. George

You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way.
--Will Rogers

'The only certainty in life is death' I dont know who said but is so cool.

"man is the only animal that blushes....or needs to"

"Civilization is a limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessaries"

"Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life."

"The lack of money is the root of all evil"

"There is no sadder sight than a young pessimist, except an old optimist"

"We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess."

...................................................................................Mark Twain

"Well, if crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?"

"I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."


"One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor. "

"Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy. "
..................................................................................George Carlin

"I would have made a good Pope." - Richard M. Nixon

"The most terrifying words in the English langauge are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help." - Ronald Reagan

"You shoot me in a dream, you'd better wake up and apologize."
- Mr. White, Resevoir Dogs

"Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?" - George Carlin

"If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea...does that mean that one enjoys it?" - George Carlin

"I'm still desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets." - Dave Edison

"He was a wise man who invented beer. " - Plato

"I got a lot of ideas. Trouble is, most of them suck." - George Carlin

"My friends tell me that I refuse to grow up, but I know they're just jealous because they don't have pajamas with feet."
- Tom Sims

"I date this girl for two years - and then the nagging starts: 'I wanna know your name'." - Mike Binder

"A child of five could understand this. Fetch me a child of five."
- Groucho Marx

I like beer. On occasion I will even drink a beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of communism or the fact that our refrigerator is still working. – Dave Barry

"Ah, yes, divorce . . . from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet." - Robin Williams

"Straight men are so simple- all they need are beer and boobs and buffalo wings." - Margaret Cho

"The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease." - Gary F. Hevel, a winner in the "Worst Analogies Ever Written in a High School Essay" Contest

When I get real bored, I like to drive downtown and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I'm leaving. - Dave Barry

here's 2: the Oscar Wilde one in my sig and Plato: Only the dead have seen the end of war.

"Now comes the part where I relieve you, the little people, of the burden of your failed and useless lives. But remember, as my plastic surgeon always said: if you gotta go, go with a smile. " - Jack Nicholson

"A lifetime of happiness! No man alive could bear it: it would be hell on earth." - George Bernard Shaw, "Man and Superman", Act I

The survivors will envy the dead Said After the Hiroshima Bombing

"My god what have we done" -- says the pilot of the B-29 that dropped the bomb over Hiroshima

Originally posted by Jebulum
Bonaparte with hitler, stalin and mussolini ?

that i found more shocking then the quotes, in all honnesty.

They were all dictators, wanting to expand their territory. Plus, they all left a lasting print on history. I wanted to add some Churchill quotes, since he fitted the category, but he just has boring quotes. Here is one from Thatcher I often apply here on the board

Originally said by Margaret Thatcher
I always cheer up immensely if an attack is particularly wounding because I think, well, if they attack one personally, it means they have not a single political argument left.

HU

Originally posted by HomoUniversalis
They were all dictators....they all left a lasting print on history.

A most important reason to consider what they say. The Mussolini quotes illustrate his arrogance, and Stalin's highlight his frustrations. But Hitler's quotes are horrifying, and are perhaps the most important to reflect upon, given his particular place in history.

In context, Napoleon provides an interesting contrast.

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher."

I forgot who wrote this. Too bad, since I like it :).

Napoleon was a conqueror. All of them were conquerers, and all of them used the illusion of fighting for peace, or Nationalism to achieve that...

HU

"Eh-Oh!" - Tinky Winky of The Tellytubbies fame.

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones." -Einstein


"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you"

"Time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana"

"Whoah." -every single one of Keanu Reeves's movies.

"'tis better to poop a fart than to fart a poop," my best friend's grandma :)



****thanks to Helios for correcting me on a misquote!!****

Originally posted by PsycikPsycho
"If there ever IS a WW3, then WW4 will be fought with sticks and stones," -Einstein



thats a little off,

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
--Albert Einstein


Imagination is more important than knowledge...
--Albert Einstein

Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
--Albert Einstein

The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and science.

If the facts don't fit the theory, change the facts.
--Albert Einstein

You cannot simultaneously prevent and prepare for war.
--Albert Einstein

just a few of my favorite Einstein quotes

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." Albert Einstine.

"A mind is like a parachute it only works when its open" -- Helios

"Who puts a their own in a quotable quotes thread? Oh yeah, a self-absorbed egomaniac." - DPD

lol im not that self-absorbed

my favorite quotes on death:

Death is more universal than life; everyone dies but not everyone lives.
-- A. Sachs

Do not fear death so much, but rather the inadequate life.
--Bertolt Brecht

For certain is death for the born
And certain is birth for the dead;
Therefore over the inevitable
Thou shouldst not grieve.
--Bhagavad Gita

The killing was the best part. It was the dying I couldn't take.
--Craig Volk

A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is a statistic.
--Joseph Stalin

Must not all things at the last be swallowed up in death?
--Plato

Contrary to popular belief, I was actually talking about myself. I just read this one and liked what I saw.



The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I guess disney is trying to corrupt the youth then there is this commercial that comes on the disney channel (i dont watch the disney channel :D ) "Great minds think alike" and i assume kids are supposed to take that in a good way :(

Originally posted by Helios
thats a little off,

"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
--Albert Einstein


Thanks for the correction :D (was trying to remember it from years ago) :)